Damaged, Chapter Fourteen

Title: Damaged
Author: AquariusLover
Rating: R
Pairing: Yunjae
Genre: AU, Friendship, Romance, Drama



Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I own nothing and know even less. This story is a stand alone, but it does take place in the TFAN universe where Yunho played a crucial role.


Big HUGE thanks to Amy(one of my most favorite people ever)!!! Also a big thanks to everybody who takes the time to comment! I can't thank the people who comment enough!


Summary: On a cold winter’s day he cast their love away for the sake of his family. The following autumn an act of vengeance left their love beyond the reaches of forgiveness. Two summers later a fan’s anger and the ultimate act of self-sacrifice would redefine everything they knew about love, selfishness, and forgiveness.


Previous Chapters



“I am not taking a nap.” Yunho told Jae defiantly as the other man stood beside the bed checking his phone.

“You should have told Bong Cha that before she made you get back in bed.” Jae told him not looking up from his phone.

“You don’t tell Bong Cha anything…you just do what she says.” Yunho admitted puffing out his cheeks.

“She might be the perfect woman for you…you always said you liked to be led.” Jae said with a smirk and sat the phone down on the dresser and turned to face Yunho.

Yunho’s face contorted into a painful look, “That disgusting…she is like my mom!”

“Your mom? She is a nurse. She’s paid to take care of you.” Jae told him laughing as he pushed Yunho’s feet out of the way and sat on the foot of the bed.

“But she is different…she’s like a motherly nurse.” Yunho explained as he eyed Jae uneasily. Jae had been on his best behavior today but Yunho knew how quickly that could change.

“She is firm, unsentimental and unbending.”

“Have you met my mother?” Yunho asked as he gently kicked Jae on the butt.

“Behave.” Jae said rubbing his butt. “True your mother is the queen of stern. I should probably tell you that she called earlier. I lied in grand fashion like always but there wasn’t any need to. She is planning on staying in the States till Christmas.” Jae informed Yunho watching him closely for any sign of wounded feelings.

“So I have two months to learn to walk again?” Yunho told the other man trying his best to sound optimistic.

“Does it bother you?” Jae asked suddenly.

Yunho darted his eyes away from Jae, hating that he was so easily seen through, “A little. I mean, I know she is completely rational…what is the point in staying here with me? She thinks I’m still a mindless shell of her son and Ji-Hye needs her.”

“I could call her for…”


“No, I want to wait. I am going to stick with my original plan.” Yunho insisted.

“You’re the boss.” Jae told him.

“Do you ever talk to Ji-Hye?” Yunho asked with just enough wistfulness that Jae couldn’t help but smile at him.

“Not usually but I do some. It’s so strange we used to be so close, but now it’s like she doesn’t know what to say to me. She isn’t hateful…but it’s just so different. I mean I used to braid her hair.” Jae said smiling as he thought back on how Yunho’s younger sister used to adore him. Then Jae’s expression changed suddenly, “Did she know…”

Yunho closed his eyes and swallowed, “Changmin made sure all my family knew.”

Jae shuddered, “I guess that would explain it. I guess her plan for us the best sister-in-laws ever faded after hearing those gory details.”

Yunho eyes flew back open and instead of offering false comfort he asked, “When are you leaving?”

“In six hours and thirty-eight minutes.” Jae said leaning across the bottom of the bed on top of Yunho’s legs.

“I can’t believe they stopped physical therapy so soon. Bill is turning into quite the dictator. I need to work harder. I don’t need to lollygag in bed all afternoon.” Yunho began to rant hoping to create further distance from the topic of his sister and her lost faith in Jae.

Jae who had been successfully distracted sighed in relief as he closed his eyes, “It actually makes me feel better about leaving. It confirmed that he isn’t going to let you hurt yourself. I guess yesterday was the tough love session.”

“I wasn’t going to hurt myself…” Yunho paused as he heard Jae’s phone going off. Yunho watched as Jae made no attempt to move to answer it. “Are you going to get that?”

“No, when I come back I think you should sleep in the chair and let me have this wonderful bed.” Jae said yawning, not recovered from his second night in the chair.

“Well Soo Jin offered you a bed repeatedly, but you keep refusing her.” Yunho pointed out unable to keep from smiling.

“Like I would leave you after your little fall.” Jae told him not even bothering to open his eyes.

Yunho seemed to be pondering something then asked, “You should leave me one of your phones.”

At this Jae did open his eyes and turned to face Yunho, “Not a good idea.”

“Why not?” Yunho asked honestly perplexed.

“I am going to be with people constantly for the next week…smart people. I don’t want them growing suspicious. I am going to be super busy too. A week for them and a month for you, that’s the deal. I’ll keep in contact with the nurses, so I will still get updates.” Jae tried to explain to Yunho who was growing annoyed.

“What if I don’t call you? Can I have one then?” Yunho asked knowing the answer before he asked.

Jae sat up suddenly, “Heechul? You want to call Heechul? Yunho, it isn’t a good idea for you to be calling anybody. If you want to keep this a secret if you don’t just tell me, and I will call your mother now.”

“Jae, that’s not the point. Heechul isn’t going to let anything slip. He isn’t an idiot.”

“No, you cannot have one of my phones. Sorry. They each have a specific purpose, and I have lots of catching up to do. I am sure Heechul will come to visit you as soon as he confirms that I am really gone.” Jae told him bordering on being rude.

A knock on the door kept Yunho from telling Jae what he could do with his phones. Jae slid off the bed and went to answer the door. Yunho could see that it was the same lady who had alerted Jae of Yoochun’s visit before. Jae shut the door to block Yunho’s view and did not invite the lady in.

“Mr. Kim, there is a matter we need you to handle.” She told him in a professional tone void of any personality.

Jae stepped out into the hall way to finish their conversation privately, and he shut the door behind him so Yunho could not hear them. Yunho fumed in his bed.

When Jae walked back into the room Yunho was practically spitting nails, “Who is here?” Yunho demanded loudly.

“It isn’t Changmin so it doesn’t matter. It’s just another person that has to wait till Christmas.” Jae said walking up to the bed uneasily.

“You are making me so mad. You are totally capitalizing on my injury just like Heechul warned you would. I expect better from you. First you won’t let me have a phone, and now you won’t even tell me who is visiting me. It’s not right.” Yunho told him more hurt then angry.

“I know.” Jae admitted taking Yunho’s hand, but Yunho immediately ripped it away. “Don’t…I am sorry. It’s Go Ara and she isn’t going to leave till she talks to me.”

“Oh, she’s here again.” Yunho didn’t know how to feel. He was touched that was for sure, but the vain part of him did not want anybody to see him like this. He knew she would protect his secret, but would the fall out with Jae be worth it?

“Yes, but it’s most likely due to the fact that I keep turning her away. It isn’t like she is busy doing anything. It isn’t like she is in demand for her great acting abilities.” Jae said trying to make light of her visits and at the same time insulting her.

“I agree that she can’t see me, so no need to be rude.” Yunho told Jae frowning at his behavior.

Jae’s instantly lit up brighter, “I am not being rude…just honest. Although I must admit if you ever do get married and have two sons and a daughter; she wouldn’t be a horrible choice.”

“You do?” Yunho asked pleasantly surprised.

“Reluctantly but even I have to admit she is dedicated to you and doesn’t make it all about her.” Jae said walking toward the dresser to find another shirt to wear.

“It’s so funny that you should admire that trait in a person.” Yunho said unable to keep from laughing.

“I might not excel at those traits personally, but it doesn’t mean I don’t admire them in others.” Jae told him opening a drawer.

“You should still give me a phone.” Yunho slipped in hoping to catch Jae in a more generous mood.

“Nope, they each are full of a million contacts that I need. There are phones here Soo Jin and Hana both can contact me if they have to. They might even have Heechul’s number if you insist. You know I don’t have his number or want it.” Jae said turning around and smiling at Yunho as he pulled out a blue sweater to replace the t-shirt of Yunho’s he had been wearing.

“I didn’t think of that.” Yunho said feeling so much brighter as he watched Jae. Jae turned around facing away from him and slipped off his shirt and Yunho froze.

All the progress they had achieved vanished as all Yunho’s insecurities rose up inside of him as he stared at Jae’s back. The insecurity brought with it a swirling rage that easily consumed him as he was brutally reminded of the bond Jae, Junsu and Yoochun shared. He eyed the writing on Jae’s back that shared the same sentiment of the writing on Yoochun’s heart. They were three. They had found strength in their bond and overcome great odds to soar again.

The five of them were no longer the same. They had moved on while he and Changmin had remained behind. The fear that he had been wrong, so terribly wrong that he had failed Changmin with his outdated ideas of loyalty and honor tore at him fueling his hurt. They had lost the five of them, but only he and Changmin continued to suffer from the lost. Every criticism that had ever been aimed at him came back tenfold, and every hurtful word used to attack him by critics, once friends and fans stabbed his heart.

These tattoos on Jae’s skin…skin Yunho had once savored were now a cruel reminder of everything he had lost. It was forever marred by the memories of the self pity that Yunho had dwelled in as Jae had moved farther and farther away from him…to them. Yoochun and Junsu were Jae’s members, his companions on the incredible journey to make all their dreams come true.

Yunho stomach filled with bile as he thought that Jae did not miss Dong Bang Shin Ki…he wasn’t here for that. The pain of losing Dong Bang Shin Ki had never lessoned for Yunho, but the same could not be said of the three. They had moved on…like he should have, like Changmin should have. The three of them had found triumphant victory, while the two left behind had only found bitterness…no success could ever ease the lost of Dong Bang Shin Ki for Yunho, none. Jae was here because he wanted to be with Yunho…not to mourn the loss of Dong Bang Shin Ki and most definitely not to rebuild…

“Yunho, what’s wrong.” Jae’s panicked plea broke Yunho away from his poisonous thoughts that had tugged him down to the worse parts of his soul.

Yunho broke out of his daze and eyed Jae who was now dressed. Yunho eyes were filled with so much hostility that the other man took a step back. Yunho picked up the call light and rang for the nurses without answering Jae’s question.

“Is something wrong? Does your head hurt?” Jae asked worried but afraid to move closer as something in Yunho’s eyes scared him.

Yunho narrowed his eyes at Jae but did not answer him, making the other man feel more nervous.

The door swung open and Hana walked in, “Is everything okay?” She asked stopping quickly when she noticed the dangerous look in Yunho’s eyes.

Yunho turned to Hana his expression still cold, “Go Ara is here. I need you to find her. I need you to explain to her what happened to me…prepare her and then bring her to me.”

“Yunho? What? You just said…what happened? What did I do?” Jae asked shocked unable to understand the sudden change in Yunho.

“You didn’t do anything.” Yunho told him the disdain in his voice made Jae flinch.

“I will go and prepare her now.” Hana told them as she smiled at Yunho before walking out of the room.

“I don’t believe you. Is it because of the phone? I will leave you a phone then.” Jae said as he found the courage to move closer to the bed.

“I would hate to inconvenience you.” Yunho bit out the words while refusing to look at Jae.

“Inconvenience me? Yunho, you don’t ever inconvenience me…I chose to be here with you.” Jae told him as he reached for the top of the dresser and grabbed his phone. “Here take it.”

“No,” Yunho told him ignoring the outreached hand with the phone.

Jae found the courage to sit on the side of the bed and grab Yunho’s hand which felt strangely cold to him. “You are really scaring me. If I did something you need to tell me so I will never do it again.”

Yunho closed his eyes as the better part of himself fought with the wounded, hateful part of his soul that only wanted to inflict pain. “I am just damaged Jae in more ways than one. It will be good to see her again. To see sweetness that adored me in my darkest hour. To see somebody who would never hurt me, only love, and wish the best for me.”

“You were never dark, you were just hurt.”


“How would you know? You weren’t there.” Yunho told him fighting against his anger as it tried to flare up again.

“I know you. I know you. You were hurt but you know nothing of true darkness, nothing.” Jae said clinging to Yunho’s hand

“You don’t know that. You know what you left behind but what I became after…what I am now…you have no clue about that. I lash out at you constantly. You can trigger all that pain and darkness without even trying. I lash out at you all the time. Why do you stay and put up with it?”

“Because I love you…”

“Don’t! Don’t you understand your love is poison to me?”

“Poison?” Jae repeated slowly as he got up from the bed.

“Yes, it is blinding and everything else in the world is left dim in comparison but when it is gone. When it is gone it leaves behind…nothing but pain, pity, and weakness.” Yunho said clutching his bed sheets tightly.

“It never left you. I always…”

“Liar! You have some twisted need for me; something deep inside of you that can’t deal with the fact that I let you go. Getting me back might be the confirmation you need to finally pad that ego of yours beyond reproach, but you didn’t always love me. You…”

“Stop it! You are making me mad. I don’t know what the hell is going on in that head of yours but this has to stop. I always loved you, always.” Jae said grabbing Yunho’s arm tightly.

“A person doesn’t do to me and Changmin what you did; exclude us so cruelly if they loved us.” Yunho said pulling his arm away.

“How the hell did Changmin get into this discussion? I need to know what set you off. I can’t fix this if I don’t even know what started it. I love you and you damn well know it.” Jae said grabbing his arm again. “Is this about JYJ? If it is I don’t have time for your self pity anymore. It’s stupid. We didn’t leave you behind…you stayed behind because you wanted to. So don’t act like I am the great abandoner.”

“You didn’t care.” Yunho said jerking his arm away again.


Jae grabbed it again tightly unafraid, “I cared! I have always cared. You didn’t care though. You never cried for us. You never spoke up in our defense when we were attacked by the company or by your own family! We had to move forward and we did. I don’t regret that, but it was hard. I won’t pretend that those times meant nothing to me because they did. Once I got over the need to hurt you…I had to cling to Yoochun and Junsu I had too. I would have destroyed myself if I hadn’t had their support. I owe them so much and I will always love them.”

The fight left Yunho as he heard Jae’s words…really heard them. There were always two sides to a story and for the first time he truly listened. He felt terribly drained as the self pity that had consumed him for so long started to evaporate. “You are hurting my arm.” Yunho told him quietly looking down at his hands that were clenched in front of him.

Jae jerked his hand away to pull up the sleeve of Yunho’s shirt quickly to find a red mark where his hand had been, “God, Yunho I didn’t realize I had such a strong grip on you. You were making me crazy by saying I didn’t care. It’s still no excuse, I am so sorry.”

“It’s not bad. I’m so…I deserved it.” Yunho said moving his eyes to the door waiting for Hana to walk Go Ara in any minute. Wishing he had not called for her now he felt close to tears. It seemed like she was always finding him broken.

“No, you didn’t. I just…I can’t believe I did this. I still don’t know what the fight was about.” Jae said reaching over and running his hand through Yunho’s hair with one hand while he rubbed Yunho’s arm with the other.

“It was about self pity that had been allowed to grow and fester for too long…but your brutal honesty seems to have ridded me of it.” Yunho said taking a deep breath trying to control his disheveled emotions.

“I didn’t mean to be brutal with you. Yunho, if I bruised you I will never forgive myself.” Jae told him as he placed both of his hands on Yunho’s face and gently guided his gauze to him. “It’s okay to feel sorry for yourself…we all do. But it isn’t okay to ever doubt my love for you. I love you so…

“Don’t!” Yunho said pulling his head away from the man. “Just don’t touch me I am about to lose control and become some sobbing mess. So just don’t touch me. Please.”

“We will be sobbing messes together because you know…” Jae stopped as the door opened. He turned and watched as Go Ara in all her beauty walked into the room her eyes red and her cheeks puffy.

“Hey,” Yunho whispered in a soft voice that sent the young woman flying into his arms.

Jae took a step back almost falling as the strength left his legs as he watched them. Yunho who had been fighting the urge to cry with him had now given into it without hesitation or shame as he clung to the beautiful woman in his arms.

Jae just stared lost as he watched them together both of them crying and rejoicing in being together. Jae jumped when he felt a hand on his arm, “Jae, let’s go. Let’s give them some privacy.”

Jae turned and found Hana standing beside him as she watched them too with a warm smile. “I..” Jae stopped he couldn’t even find words.

Hana turned back to him and he saw sympathy flash in her eyes as she took his arm and guided him from the room. Jae felt like he should pull away, but the shock of seeing his Yunho so comfortable and at ease with somebody else left him dead inside. “I…I don’t even know what I did.”

Hana closed the door behind them as she watched Jae lean against the wall and crumble to the floor. “It’s best this way, Jae.”

“No, it isn’t. How can you say that? You used to practically reek of being a psychotic Yunjae fan…how can you say that?” Jae lashed out at her because he was unable to lash out at the man behind the closed door.

Hana closed her eyes and chose her words carefully, “Sleeping Beauty woke up, and I realized what I wanted for him and what was best for him weren’t the same thing.”

“I am best for him.” Jae said standing up glaring at her. “He will never love anybody like he loves me.”

“And that’s what’s best for him? To love you? How is it best for him to love you in this homophobic world that we live in?” Hana asked softly looking away from Jae unable to look into those haunted, beautiful eyes.

“Shut up! What do you know? You are just the nurse. You know nothing…you are nothing.” Jae told her viciously clenching his fist to his side trying to control the rage that the truth of her words stirred in him.

Hana turned to the man his words stinging her. She saw the glimmers of the man who had slept with Junsu and made Yunho walk in on them. She took a deep breath and fought to keep from giving away her secret knowledge of his horrible deed. “You are right. I’m just a nurse.”

“Yes, you are. I don’t need…” Jae stopped as she had already turned her back on him walking away.

Jae fell back against the wall. He hated the anger that was consuming him and making him crazy. He couldn’t help but remember the first time that it had flared up in him. Years ago when Yunho had told him they could no longer be together…something in Yunho’s voice had let Jae know he wouldn’t change his mind but still Jae had clung to him and begged. Jae flinched as the memory of him clinging to Yunho begging him to never leave him came back to him full force.

Yunho had not given in but promised that he would always love him but he couldn’t defy his father and lose his family. Yunho had tried to explain that he couldn’t do that to his mother and sister, and the risk of them someday being discovered got closer and closer every day. Many of the fans already knew and it wouldn’t be long before other people realized it too, and then everything they had built would be destroyed.

Jae had no mercy for Yunho that day even though he could tell what it had cost the man to give him up. When Yunho had pulled away from his grasp something in Jae had turned on him. Jae had turned on Yunho ruthlessly as he vowed to make sure that Yunho ended up losing everything anyway and promised to make his life a living hell. Jae leaned against the wall wiping his eyes as he realized how effortlessly he had succeeded. It wasn’t the damaged body that caused Yunho the most harm; it was the damaged soul that truly marred the man.

Jae knew his own soul was damaged long before he had met Yunho. The fear of rejection was paralyzing to him. Perhaps it was when he was a baby when his mother had given him to his adopted family that the fear first started consuming him. It had become his ultimate fear and when Yunho had rejected him something had snapped inside him. He had wanted Yunho to hurt as much as he hurt and to be damaged too. He had succeeded and he had never hated himself as much as he did right now in this moment.

He could be better though and he would be. He would not be selfish for once. He would love better. He would be a better man he told himself as he pulled away from the wall and collected himself. He took a deep breath and willed himself to be gracious as he opened the door and walked back into the room.

Jae flinched when he saw her sitting on the bed beside Yunho with her arm wrapped around his still crying tears of happiness. He knew she had to be wonderful because Changmin approved of her, and Changmin would never approve of anybody for Yunho who wasn’t perfect.

“Jae?” Yunho asked cautiously catching the man’s attention.

Jae forced a smile at Yunho, “I am going to get my stuff and go ahead and go. Let you guys reconnect. Okay?”

Yunho’s eyes followed Jae as he grabbed his bag and starting collecting his stuff. Yunho’s heart sank as he watched Jae grab a shirt that belonged to him and stuff it in his bag. Jae’s shoulders were hunched and it was like all his confidence had left him. Yunho could tell how very hard Jae was trying, and he knew how much it must have cost him, “You don’t have to go now.”

“I know, but it’s best this way. I will probably stop and say hello to my mom she has been on me for neglecting her so it’s all good.” Jae said turning back to Yunho as he finished collecting his belongings.

Go Ara reached down and squeezed Yunho’s hand, “I guess this is good bye then.” Yunho told him knowing Jae would not be back in a week.

“Yeah,” Jae told him his huge eyes filling with tears as he turned away and walked toward the door.

“Thank you!” Yunho shouted before Jae could close the door causing the other man to pause and turn back around to him.

“No problem, that’s what friends are for.” Jae told him the tears in his eyes starting to spill over as he grabbed the door with a trembling hand and shut it behind him.
  • Current Music: Bleeding Love
I cried. I found this one update ago and I stalked it like no other for an update. There are so many layers of deliciousness in your story I can't even name them all. I'm honestly wondering about the lack of response yunho is having to jae's sexual advances like everyone else is. I wonder if he'll feel the same with go ara. I wonder if yunho was really just jaesexual and if he's been himself to feel more than friendship for ara. Im also anticipating the event of yunho realizing that he just can't live without jae and that life is too short to be miserable ( this is a yunjae fic right?? I demand a yunjae ending!!!)^^ I wonder what will cause these two to reunite. I have so many wonderments.
How will yunho so with therapy etc without jae to massage all the pain and hurt away.
I love the fact that you've basically made it hard to hate or take sides in this story big big kudos cause usually someone is always the bad guy.
Ps. I found this story right after an exhausting final wherein I had foregone 24 hours of sleep to study but I still couldn't put this down until I'd read all the chapters. Then came back after resting to read it over. That's how much I loved it. Just a warning imma stalk you now until your next update ^^
Yunho Jaesexual, he might be but I can't use that or people would accuse me of stealing from TFAN. LOL

I am trying very hard to make it where nobody takes sides, but I continue to fail at that. I do take comfort in the fact that both sides are being taken, so it is the reader's bias and not my doing.LOL Bias is a hard thing to overcome even in a fictional story. I hope I show both sides though.

You made me smile so big with your last PS...it's just like the warmest feeling ever to receive such a compliment. Thank you so much! Story Stalkers are the best.
ohhhhh....love is such a crazy thing...it consumes you and drives you to madness...im still in awe of yunnie who can still be friends with jae after all the things jae did. I feel a bit sad for jae when he left,only a bit, because he is reaping what he sow... i really cant wait for minnie to finally visit yunnie.
Di, I think you and me are taking Yunho's side since we are biased to him :D And I agree, I am still in awe of Yunho's forgiveness towards Jaejoong when he did all that. Sleeping with Junsu, I would never forgive if my lover slept with my friend, band mate, just to make me mad. Never. Yunho has a strong heart. Minnie has to come in, now xD

You deserve that, Jaejoong. LOL!
damn u for making me cry TT_TT yunjae so painful....it's ok jae >< go find someone else to love u even more~~i want jaejoong to be happy TT so sad....jae TT
I'm sobbing and weeping. I don't know how to thank you for this heartwrenching yet beautiful story. And yunho's bitterness about jyj is really reflecting my bitterness about homin and jyj too. You've pulled my emotions out and i feel relieve that somebody might feel my sadness about yunjae, homin and jyj.
I was so sad about DBSK for so long....like horrible.

Writing this story has strangely helped though...you know when you write you have to see all sides and such(or you should). So it's kinda like therapy.
"that's what friends are for". that totally made me sad. it must be really hard for jae to say tt out when he still love yunho. although he deserve it..still..its heartbreaking.
yunho must be sad to see jae leave him too.TT

thanks for updating!
"ooooh bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" was my reaction to this. dont worry its a very positive response lol its just that there is no words in my vocabulary to proparly decipher the feeling.

well i can also say this: I LOVE UUUU :) haha
D':

Whew...this is like a rollercoaster of emotions, gah. I don't know how to feel xD Soooo Go Ara came! Huh,, I wonder whats gonna happen now :D~ *still waiting for Changmin* ;P

Short comment is short >_< (I blame school *3*) Hwaiting on the next update~ :))
he'll never be back, will that happen?... i hope he won't come back... not yet...
That good bye seemed so final...even though I know it wasn't but it definitely closed a chapter on something both of their lives. Wonder what's going to happen next now that Go Ara is in the picture and I wanna Min prospective chapter T_T pwease!
*wailing in the corner*

I accept Jae now (with everything he did). Love is crazy and it destroys both of them in the grandest fashion.

yunho's soul is marred forever... he did lost everything, and getting hurt periodically, because someone makes sure Yunho's heart won't stop bleeding. Jae, his world revolves around Yunho and yunho only. I feel bad for him.

I dont want Jae to go :( he might not coming back even after a week or so.
And Yunho, I hope after jae left you're gonna realize how important and essential he is in your life you cant help but begging for his presence *God please God*
Crap, I really can't help by cry at this. I know Yunho is hurt, but it's just so unkind to do that to Jaejoong. He's just fixated on accusing jaejoong for being there for his own self and his own agenda, it's like at certain moments he seems completely oblivious to the amount of pain that he's causing Jae.
I think it hurts because Jaejoong is trying so hard, especially at the end, not to succumb to his need to just lash out and hurt Yun in response. I hope the guilt eats away at Yunho while Jae is gone >:(
and nooooooooo, do not want Ara here ):
If she stays the week and they attribute her with the success of Yunho walking again, I might totally lose my mind. Please hurry back Jae ): You won't make him disappear for longer will you? ):
+1!

i agreeeeeee :x i thought i was one of the only people who thought this way, lol :< nice to see i'm not ♥
aigo~~ shouldn't have read this chapter so soon.. y cant i have waited arrrggghhhhh i'm having my exam in 30 minutes n i'm all depress T-T not good!! y does it really feel like goodbye..i'm so sad right now.. n may i say that i also felt hurt (a little) when i saw jj 'micky' n 'junsu' tattoo.. yunnie was actually calmer that wut i would imagine him to be after seeing that tattoo.. if it was me i made yunnie lash out even more haha but that just me.. so jj really not coming back after a week? T-T dont tell me he's going to stay away until like chrismas also gahhh *kill ara* seriously girl hand off wut's jaejoongs'.. lol sorry i'm a bit out off it haha.. great chapter ^^
I hope you did good on your exam!

It's okay to feel hurt I think lots of fans of the five of them felt a little hurt.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting!
it's sad actually....
go ara, this is why i don't like her, that place belong to jj...
why did i feel yh good bye is a last good bye, which mean jj will not come to see him again....
plz, plz, update soon, i can't keep myself from hunting ur new update....
Nooo!! TT0TT
my poor heart..~
this need a very soon update!
thanks for the beautiful hard work!
I will update tomorrow if something drastic doesn't happen.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
i was prepared to have fun reading this chapter, and OMG! i was sooo wrong, you turned me into a wailing stupid reader who cried reading a fiction LOL! and the saddest part is, i will be thinking of what will happen to Jae and Yunho in your next chapter. so i will be haunted by this last chapter, so please please please, update soon. Pretty please?!
*puppy eyes*
Awe, but I used to love when stories made me cry....well after the fact.

I will update tomorrow...in about twenty five hours to be exact.
this chapter was so sad...
I think Jae will not come back.. and wonder if Yunho will miss him..
I'm scared.. jaejoong's love obsession towards Yunho will be the end of him.. poor guy..
We will soon see.:)

Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

Your personal picture is like my most favorite YJ moment ever....just beautiful. Just beautiful
i stalk this fic...
OMG thank you for the update
i was so depressed. Today wasn't a great day
but when i got home from work there was an update that my cellphone wouldn't show
im glad i checked before going to bed.
i almost cried i feel soo bad for jae, hes so in love with yunho.
yunho just ignores him
ahhh why do i love angst soooo much
neeed MORE!! please update soon ^^
I need so much Ferrero Rochers right now coz this chapter bring too much pain *crying* whoaaaaa..........
I Hate Yunho with his blindness >:( wise man said that the person which bring you to life is the owner of your soul, Jae bring you crossing the hell Stupid!Yunho, why can't you just forgive and foget!!! This delusion is too painful, Lady!! *munching pocky* you are so cruel to my poor heart T_T
I demand a fast update with hope it can help Jae to leave yunho for sure!!! But... But, I want YunJae to be together *crying*
Gaaaaahhhh!!! Update Soon please!!!
*sobs* thanks for the hard work
Awe, but the YJ lover wins out in the end. They are too pretty and perfect for us not to want them together...even if they are poisonous to each other.

I will update tomorrow! Promise....well unless something unexpected happens.
this story reminds me why I am now in the 'Owh, whatever' period..bcoz it hurts..n it hurts like hell..

uwaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.

first of all, I've read the past two chapters but I was on a rush then (very busy times) that I couldn't leave a proper reply then. so, I'm sorry.

then, I cried on this chapter. T_______T I am at work and I look ridiculous that I had to hold back my tears then go to the toilet and let it out. ;________; this is such a great chapter. if Yunho had leaps and bounds waking up to successfully progressing with his therapy, then this chapter is a huge leap and bound for Jaejoong, who finally realized something important, who became the bigger man in the situation - starting to let his selfishness go and learning to accept what Yunho could possibly offer him. this is his first step.

I do not know how it would be after how both of them would learn to walk. Maybe they would learn to be happy with each other, with who they have become, or maybe when they have finally reached the point of "independently walking" they would learn to love each other again. lots of maybes. I'm looking forward to more chapters for this really interesting work of yours.

It's a Thursday afternoon at the office and you made me cry, but hey it's alright, thanks. ^_^

I have been very busy too so I completely understand.

I am sorry! Crying at work, not good.:(

I like how you said they both need to learn how to walk.:):):)

Thanks so much for reading and commenting.:):):)

T__T
I know it's not her fault and that she is probably the kind of woman who is perfect for Yunho but I can't help but hate Go Ara. My heart hurts for Jae, I can feel so much pain coming from him in this chapter... :'(
And Yunho really made me mad too, his situation is difficult and painful but why is he always hurting Jae >.< He isn't the only one who is unhappy and damaged, and he was the one who let Jae down in the first place so he should stop being so self-centered (god, I'm sooooo Jae biased and I know it XD).
Am I too cruel if I want Yunho to suffer from Jae's absence ? :S
And will Jae really not be coming back after his week away ? If yes I guess that Changmin will soon appear...(yes ?, no ?)
Changmin is going to be appearing......I can't say when....but sooner then later?

There is bias all around so don't feel like you are the only one. I think most people are bias towards one.....although I try not to feed into any bias.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting!