Damaged, Chapter Forty Five

Title: Damaged
Author: aquariuslover
Pairing: Yunjae
Rating: R
Genre: Future AU, Drama, Angst

Summary: On a cold winter’s day he cast their love away for the sake of his family. The following autumn an act of vengeance left their love beyond the reaches of forgiveness. Two summers later a fan’s anger and the ultimate act of self-sacrifice would redefine everything they knew about love, pride, selfishness, and forgiveness.


Previous Chapters

It was very early in the morning when Jae heard the door to the back porch swing open arousing him from his sleepless stupor. Jae had snuck off to the back porch of the house JYJ had hidden themselves away in sometime in the middle of the night to wallow in his self-pity.

At the moment of Lee Soo Man’s death, Jae knew he could never confide in Yunho or anybody else exactly what he had done to ensure that Dong Bang Shin Ki would be five again. He knew Yoochun and Junsu would never forgive him, and he could not even imagine Yunho’s response. He loved Yunho more than anything, but he also loved Yoochun and Junsu, along with Changmin. He would not risk losing all of them. So instead of being with his lover who desperately needed him…he avoided him. Jae did not trust himself with Yunho because even though he knew how disastrous the outcome could be…he still felt compelled to tell Yunho the truth. Yunho knew Jae had a secret and he knew it was bad, and if they had a fight right now, Jae did not trust his self not to confess all to Yunho.

Yoochun walked out onto the porch and lit up a cigarette and stared down at Jae with a mixture of sorrow and disgust. “Want one?” Yoochun asked, offering the other man a cigarette.

Jae shook his head frantically. “No!”

“Clutching the phone won’t make him call you,” Yoochun informed his older friend who sat on the floor clutching his phone as if his life depended on it. “Why should he? So you can let it go to voicemail? I wouldn’t call you either.”

Jae looked up at him with bloodshot eyes. “You don’t understand.”

“No, I don’t.”

“I need to hear him, but I don’t trust myself to talk to talk to him. He won’t even reply to my messages…none of them,” Jae said, eying his phone longingly.

“You won’t explain yourself, so how am I supposed to understand this craziness coming from you? Yunho wants you with him, and you want to be with him. I don’t see the problem?” Yoochun told him as he sat down on a lawn chair that was on the porch beside Jae.

“It isn’t that simple.”

“Yunho will not throw what happened to JYJ up in your face. He isn’t cruel. He’s never been cruel. He wouldn’t…”

“I know that!”

“Then what the fuck is this about? Is it about him wanting to come out? He told you he wouldn’t do it without your permission,” Yoochun asked, confused as he watched the other man who didn’t answer him but only stared at his bare feet. “Are you punishing him?”

Jae looked up at Yoochun now, his eyes full of disdain. “Punishing him…by punishing myself? I am not…” Jae stopped, suddenly. Maybe it would be best if Yoochun thought he was punishing Yunho. Yunho had thought the same thing. It might work out for the best if he scared Yunho into giving up his crazy dream of them coming out. It would also give him time to quench this desire to confess all to Yunho. “I am never coming out. He needs to realize that. It would be suicide.”

“You’re an asshole. Have you ever thought Yunho is right?”

“No!” Jae answered, quickly looking up at Yoochun as if he were mad.

The door to the porch swung open again and Junsu walked out. “Jae, I guess you don’t know why Yunho is holding a press conference this morning, do you? Since you have been ignoring him.”

Jae stood up instantly. “A press conference? What about?”

Junsu shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, that’s why I asked you.”

“Call and ask him now,” Jae said, ripping Junsu’s phone from his pocket instantly not giving Junsu time to call before Jae was calling Yunho himself using Junsu’s phone.

“Quit freaking out. Yunho wouldn’t do that to you,” Yoochun said, standing up knowing instantly what the other man was thinking.

“Do what?” Junsu asked as Jae waited for Yunho to pick up.

“Out them,” Yoochun explained.

Jae tossed Junsu’s phone back to him after Yunho didn’t answer. “He isn’t answering your calls either.”

“He probably knows it’s you and he’s tired of your shit,” Yoochun tried to explain to his frantic friend.

Jae had his phone out now. “Changmin, fucking answer the damn phone.”

“Changmin isn’t going to answer you if Yunho won’t. He might be cool with us now, but his first loyalty is always to Yunho,” Yoochun insisted.

Jae clicked the phone shut. “Fuck this!”

“Looks like you are out of the loop again. Serves you right for your bullshit,” Yoochun said, not feeling the least bit sorry for him. Yoochun was at a lost to explain Jae’s behavior for once.

“You shouldn’t have ignored him,” Junsu agreed.

“Ji-Hye!” Jae suddenly yelled triumphantly. He pulled out his phone again and dialed Yunho’s sister who made no secret of her love for him. Jae sighed in relief as Ji-Hye answered the phone quickly. “Ji-Hye…why is Yunho having a press conference…you can’t tell me…of course you can…can you at least tell me where Yunho is…why is he still at the mansion…wait…don’t go.”

“He is still at Lee Soo Man’s mansion?” Junsu asked, but Jae never answered him as he flew off the porch into the house. Jae grabbed his keys, not even bothering to put shoes on as he raced out of the house, and was in his car in seconds speeding away.

***************


“Feeling better this morning?” Mrs. Jung asked as she walked up behind her son and squeezed his shoulder.

Yunho, who was standing in the entry way to the huge mansion he now owned, turned around and smiled at his mother. “Much better, thank you.”

Mrs. Jung looked at her son in concern. “You still look tired.”

“I slept though.”

“Why did you get up so early?”

“I wanted to talk to Boa about something but she left during the night and I missed her, but then I realized I needed to talk to the staff of this house and introduce myself to them. After that, Mr. Mok found me to inform me of some things. Then the PR team wanted to go over some things regarding today’s press conference,” Yunho explained as he pushed the large oak doors open and walked out of the house onto the porch. The front porch was massive, stretching across the front of the house. It had a marble floor and was held up by four huge, white pillars.

“I should have been up helping you, but I was hoping you would sleep in. You are going to need your own personal assistant.”

“I think Mr. Mok is already assuming that role…and I trust him. He knows enough about the business to keep me on top of everything,” Yunho told his mother.

Mrs. Jung’s heart ached as she watched her son all grown up with his suffocating responsibilities. “Once everything gets settled, the burden will lessen. Your life doesn’t have to become about your duties.”

Yunho turned to her and smiled. “Yes, it does. A life should always be about your duties. You shouldn’t neglect them. I will gladly distribute the work but in the end I am the one responsible.”

“You are the majority share holder of SM, but that doesn’t mean you have to run it. It is being run just fine now by a very capable CEO. You can guide the direction it takes with a gentle hand and make yourself open to the SM employees without sacrificing all your dreams,” Mrs. Jung promised her son, willing it to be true.

“I know you are right. He didn’t give this to me out of punishment. He wanted me to have freedom. Freedom so I would never bow to any man,” Yunho said, repeating back Lee Soo Man’s words as he leaned against a pillar.

Ji-Hye walked onto the porch, joining her brother and mother as the drivers pulled the two limos up. “But you always bow…at a 90 degree angle, perfectly respectful.”

Yunho turned to smile at his sister. “That wasn’t what I was talking about.”

“I know,” she told him, smiling back at him.

“The asshole called me,” Changmin said, walking out of the house with Heechul close behind him.

Yunho sighed. “What did you tell him?”

“Nothing. I didn’t answer the phone,” Changmin said, walking up to Yunho and uncharacteristically initiating a hug, while patting him on the back at the same time. Changmin then pulled away to look Yunho in the eyes. “You are going to do fantastic today. Everybody in SM is going to be so relieved knowing that you are looking out for their best interests now. It’s going to be a good day.”

Heechul watched as Yunho started getting teary eyed at Changmin’s words and quickly stepped in to stop any potential water works. “Does this mean I have to hug him too?”

Yunho smiled and grabbed Heechul by the arm and dragged him into a tight, bear hug. “Yes, it does. My wonderful friend.”

Ji-Hye who was watching the men, frowned. “I don’t understand why Jae is an asshole? The dissolution of JYJ has to be a major crisis for him? I don’t understand why his crises should be less important than yours?”

The three men and Mrs. Jung turned to stare at Ji-Hye as if she had two heads. “Ji-Hye, just be quiet,” Mrs. Jung snapped at her daughter.

Before Ji-Hye had time to protest, the man in charge of the estate’s security walked up to them and informed them, “Mr. Jung, a white Lamborghini has just gone through the gates.”

“Speaking of the devil,” Changmin said, looking down the road waiting for Jae’s car to come flying up the road.

“He ran through the gates?” Yunho asked shocked, imagining Jae taking out the gates with his car.

The security guard shook his head. “No, we had them open waiting for you all to leave.”

“Not very good security it seems if you can’t keep the rift raft out,” Heechul snapped, highly irritated.

“How did he know we were even here?” Yunho asked as he started walking down the steps toward the waiting limos with Changmin close by his side.

Mrs. Jung turned to her daughter who hadn’t moved since the security guard’s announcement. “So this is who you were on the phone with? Ji-Hye, your brother asked you not to…”

“Mom, I didn’t say anything about the press conference, but Yunho is wrong to hide from him,” Ji-Hye interrupted defensively, straightening her shoulders.

“Yunho isn’t hiding from him. He’s been hiding from Yunho,” Mrs. Jung clarified for her daughter. “Your brother is under a humongous amount of stress right now…and Jae has only made it worse. You have made it worse.”

Ji-Hye stiffened. “I have not. If Yunho really wanted to find Jae he would have looked for him. If Jae was looking for Yunho do you think he would have left it to phone calls? No, Jae would have searched for him.”

Mrs. Jung frowned at her daughter. “Yes, it’s always your brother’s fault. Shame on him.”

Heechul watched as Mrs. Jung gave her daughter a look of disappointment and walked away. Heechul was unable to hold his tongue and walked up to Ji-Hye and asked, “Are you Jae’s fan girl or Yunho’s sister?”

“I’m both! Yunho needs him,” Ji-Hye insisted as she watched the white car fly to the front of the house and slam on its brakes.

Yunho stood next to the limo beside Changmin as he watched Jae hurry out of the car without even bothering to turn it off or shut the car door. Yunho took in Jae’s unshaven face, bare feet and disheveled appearance and knew that whatever pain he had felt Jae had felt it too. Yunho shook his head at Jae and asked himself for the billionth time why did he inflict such needless pain on them. They had been separated far too long in the last two months without him doing it purposely.

“Yunho,” Jae said, running up to the man and hugging him. Yunho stood still and kept his arms clamped to his sides. He fought the urge to hug Jae back. What Jae had done was not okay, not okay. He refused to melt into the other man’s embrace.

“Jae, I have somewhere I have to be,” Yunho managed to get the words out, trying to sound cold but failing miserably as the other man embraced him tightly, warming his soul.

Jae hugged him tighter and pleaded, “You can’t go. I won’t allow it.”

Yunho frowned. Yunho pried Jae’s arms away from him, looking down at the other man, and questioned, “What do you mean? I don’t have a choice?”

Jae looked down at his bare feet unable to look Yunho in the face and collapsed to his knees and wrapped his arms around Yunho’s legs. “Yunho, I am begging you. Please don’t.”

“Jae, get up,” Yunho told him, grabbing him by the arms trying to pull Jae up. Jae clinging to his legs brought back a disturbing memory of over four years ago during their break up that Yunho never wanted to remember. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

Jae wouldn’t budge from the ground still refusing to look at Yunho and with a tormented voice full of self hatred he swore, “I swear if you tell them that we are gay. I will deny it. I will tell them that you mistook simple friendship and concern for something more.”

Yunho’s face froze in horror as he suddenly understood the reason behind Jae’s panic. “Jae, let go of me.”

“No, I don’t want to let go of you. They just can’t know, Yunho. They can never know. I love you more than anything, but they can never know,” Jae told him, sobbing into Yunho’s pant legs.

“Jae, you are such…”

“Changmin don’t!” Yunho ordered, interrupting Changmin before he could start. “I want you all to take the other limo and go. I will meet you there shortly.”

“Yunho…”

“Mother, please respect my wishes,” Yunho pleaded to her as she walked closer to them.

Mrs. Jung touched her son’s heartbroken face and then reached down and took a hold of Jae. “Jaejoong, get up. There is no need for such hysterics today.”

Jae got up slowly, stepping away from Yunho, and stared at Mrs. Jung unable to meet Yunho’s gaze. “There isn’t? He isn’t…”

“No, he isn’t,” Heechul answered, walking up to Yunho and wrapping his arm around Yunho tightly. “Yunho and I are coming out today. We are going to have a nice little commitment ceremony afterwards. We are going to be the new power couple of Seoul.”

Yunho rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Heechul, don’t.”

“Why not?” Heechul said coldly, staring a hole into Jae. “Have you ever thought how much easier your life would have been if it had been you and I instead of you and the Flowery Queen? Least we have friendship between us and not just a sick obsession that mocks the very word.”

Yunho closed his eyes. “Heechul, please go.”

“We are going,” Changmin assured him as he grabbed Heechul’s arm and walked toward Jae’s still running car.

As Changmin dragged Heechul toward Jae’s car Heechul asked, “We are taking his car?”

“Yep, and when he gets it back it isn’t going to be so pretty,” Changmin said, smiling as he slid into the driver’s seat.

Ji-Hye walked up to her brother and placed a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry, Yunho.”

“Just go,” he told her, still staring at Jae who refused to look up at him.

Mrs. Jung took her disillusioned daughter by the hand and walked her toward the limo.

Yunho watched as they all left and the bodyguards and Jim walked a respectful distance away. “Do you think so little of me?” Yunho questioned Jae, his voice full of pain. Jae shook his head and clenched his mouth shut refusing to respond. “I told you I would never come out without your approval. Do you think I would lie to you?”

“I thought you were angry with me…I thought you wanted to punish me,” Jae said, sounding miserable.

Yunho shook his head. “No, Jae, that’s your game not mine.”

Jae looked up to meet Yunho’s hurt eyes. “Then what? What is the press conference about?” Jae asked, his jaw quivering as he realized his error.

“First, I want to know something,” Yunho said, stepping closer to Jae.

“What?”

Yunho walked up to him till he was face to face with Jae. “If I had gone public with us, would you really have denied me? Called me a liar?”

Jae’s eyes widened in alarm at the question. “I would have said it was a mistake….that you got confused due to your injury. I would not have called you a liar.”

Yunho balled his fists together and started walking away from Jae as fast as he could. “Oh, you would use the brain damage excuse. How handy it must be for you.”


“Yunho,” Jae pleaded as he followed after him.

Yunho sat down on the steps leading to the top of the porch and held his hands up motioning for Jae to stop. “Stay back.”

“No,” Jae said fearlessly, shaking his head and walking closer to Yunho, He took the hands that were held up as if they were protecting Yunho from him.

Yunho looked up at the man who was holding his hands and asked in a devastated voice, “How did you ever expect me to forgive you for that? Don’t you know that doing that to me would have destroyed us?”

“No, it wouldn’t have,” Jae told him, kneeling down on the step in front of Yunho. “We can get through anything. I would be angry at you for going against my wishes so we would be even in the end. You would have wronged me and I would have wronged you.”

Yunho pulled his hands free of Jae and covered his face with them and just started laughing. “A wrong for a wrong.”


“Yes, in a way.” Jae told him, moved higher up the steps to sit beside Yunho and lean against him. “I missed you so much.”

“I should have just died,” Yunho said, still laughing. “It might have been a kinder end than the one you have planned for me.”

Jae’s pity and sadness vanished instantly as he pulled Yunho’s hands away from his face and held them tightly. “Don’t you ever say that! Ever!”


“You are fucking crazy and I am fucking crazy for being with you!” Yunho shouted out at him.

“Don’t say that. I am so sick of people saying I’m crazy. Crazy about you maybe, but I always have a reason for what I do and it…”

“Don’t you dare fucking say that I am the reason behind your crazy schemes,” Yunho told him, his eyes narrowing.

Jae puffed up his chest and jerked his hands away from Yunho. “You are!”

“Lies. Staying away from me was not for my benefit, it was because you wanted to. It was because…”

“I just wanted you to see how crazy your plan was. I wanted you to have time to think it over. Coming out would be insane,” Jae told him, fighting to remain calm as he lied for his reason behind avoiding Yunho.

Yunho snorted. “Liar! You were hiding away from me because you feared I would find out your secret. That you would confess it to me in a moment of weakness.” Jae paled instantly and Yunho smiled in satisfaction. “You are not staying away because of what happened to JYJ….you barely paused after hearing the news that day. You also are not avoiding me in hopes of ridding me of my dream to come out to the public.”

“Yunho, just don’t,” Jae said at the other man’s startling insight.

“If you really thought I was about to out us you would do exactly what you did. You aren’t afraid of confronting me and you would have left JYJ willingly if SM would have taken you back. You…you have just done something awful and you want to hide it from me,” Yunho told him with refreshing candor as he stood back up.

“Yunho…”

“Don’t worry, Jae…you don’t have to tell me your secret. I won’t ever ask you again about it,” Yunho said, interrupting him before the other man could tell him another lie.

Jae stood up quickly to stand beside Yunho and asked fearfully, “Why won’t you ask, Yunho?”

Yunho gazed into Jae’s eyes, unflinching. “Maybe I already know. Maybe I don’t want to know for certain.”

“Which one is it?” Jae asked, stunned.

“You don’t get to know that, but there are other things you get to know. Important things that you never seem to get no matter how many times I tell you. I love you…even if we are both crazy…I love you. I always want to be with you. If I have to hide away my entire life then that’s the price I pay for being with you,” Yunho explained as he grabbed Jae’s arm and started walking down the steps toward the waiting limo.

Jae smiled as he let Yunho lead him down the steps. “I love you too, and you will be lucky to pry me from your side anytime in the near future. I am so sorry for avoiding you.”

“Well, you are not coming to the press conference with me,” Yunho informed him as they moved toward the limo. Jim was there opening the door for them with a smile. Yunho slipped inside the limo and Jae was right behind him.

“I guess I am,” Jae said, taking a seat beside him.

“You can ride with me, but you can’t go inside. You look horrible,” Yunho told him.

Jae reached up and felt his unshaven face. “Well, I had to go without you for six weeks, then I got you back for one day, and then I had to go without you for days again. It’s been rough.”

Yunho pulled Jae closer to him. “I know…believe me I know, but the last part was all your idiotic doing.”

“Yunho, I thought you forgave me.”

“I didn’t say I forgave you. I said I loved you. Those two things are completely separate, believe me.”

“I’m really sorry…you had no idea how much I missed you.”

Yunho leaned his head back and let out a deep sigh. “Yes, Jae, I do. Because I missed you that much too.”

Jae smiled and leaned in closer to Yunho as the limo cruised down the road. “So what is the press conference about?”

Yunho sighed. “Lee Soo Man left it all to me.”

Jae’s mouth dropped open in astonishment and repeated back, “All of it?”

“Yeah. As Heechul says, I am filthy, stinking rich, and I am about to share that fact with the world”



***********************



Jae lay in the bed of a guestroom of the mansion staring up at the ceiling. He was exhausted both mentally and physically but his mind wouldn’t stop racing. His plan not to be pried away from Yunho had failed miserably as soon as Yunho had stepped out of the limo to go to the press conference.

Yunho’s day had been filled with lawyers, meetings, and interviews, while Jae had hid away from everybody in an attempt to avoid a world that wanted answers…answers he didn’t want to give. He couldn’t hide away from his world and be a part of Yunho’s very public world at the same time…they did not mesh well. During the day as Jae avoided questions about the future of JYJ, Yunho had been thrown into the spotlight as he inherited a fortune that surpassed even the greediest person’s wildest dreams.

Jae’s eyes remained opened as he waited for Yunho to come to bed. The nice housekeeper had led him to this room explaining that Yunho had refused the master bedroom…the bedroom that Lee Soo Man had died in. The room where Yunho and Jae had watched the dying man take his last breath. It was in that room where an unbearable fear had overcome Jae as he heard Lee Soo Man’s dying words. A fear that had made Jae flee from Yunho’s side before his lover could find out his truth…his awful truth. Jae replayed Yunho’s words in his mind from earlier today and wondered for the millionth time did Yunho already know? When Changmin and Heechul had come for Yunho the day of Lee Soo Man’s death, when Yunho had reached for his hand…did he know even then?

A part of Jae desperately wanted to know, but another part never wanted to know. The knowledge the warmth of being loved so completely and unconditionally was not worth the risk. The risk of seeing the disappointment in those eyes he loved so much…no, he would never ask. It was best left to assumptions without actual confirmation.

The sound of the door opening had Jae rolling over on his stomach as he watched Yunho enter the room. Jae watched Yunho as he entered the connecting bathroom without a word or a glance toward Jae. The little time that Jae had been allowed to spend with Yunho during the day had been spent in awkward quietness. Yunho had been very angry at Jae earlier in the morning, but Yunho had missed him so much that Yunho had fought against his anger…and hurt.

When Yunho finally left the bathroom, he was wearing red pyjamas that reminded Jae of Clear Creek. Jae watched silently as Yunho slipped into bed and then promptly turned on his side facing away from Jae. Jae frowned and was unable to hold his tongue. “Are you being serious?”

“Just sleep, Jae,” Yunho told him in a tired voice.

“I would love to sleep but it keeps evading me,” Jae told him as he rolled on his side to face Yunho’s back. “I haven’t slept for days.”

“Try.”

“Hold me.”

“No, I can’t, not tonight…it’s too soon.”

Confusion replaced the frown on Jae’s face as he reached out and rubbed Yunho’s back. “Too soon since he died? Do you think it would be disrespectful?”

“It’s been too soon since you once again followed one of your stupid impulses, hurting us both needlessly instead of talking it out with me. Too soon since you let me know that, you would happily make me appear as some brain damaged fool if it suited your plans. Just too soon,” Yunho told him with his voice filled with sadness.

Jae clamped his lips together, closed his eyes, and fought the urge to cry. Dammit there had been too many tears lately, but sometimes tears came so easily to him, especially when he felt sorry for himself. When Jae’s composure was restored he asked, “So now you will punish me? Do you think I haven’t punished myself enough? Do I look like somebody who has come out of this unscratched? Do I look like I enjoyed being away from you? I look like hell. You have apparently been sleeping so…”

“Only because I took pain medication because you gave me a headache. I can’t afford to not sleep but if you require slurring and limping to prove my love for…”

“Stop,” Jae interrupted, scooting closer to Yunho and wrapping an arm and a leg around him. “You were right. Let’s just sleep.”

“Jae...”

“Don’t. You can lay there and pretend I am not here, but I am going to hold you so just deal with it,” Jae told him, snuggling closer. Yunho said nothing, but Jae’s heart was relieved when Yunho took his hand and held it tightly against his chest.



***********



Jae stretched out on the bed and slowly awoke from a deep, long sleep. He sat up immediately when he noticed the bed was minus his lover. Jae frowned when he realized he would not be waking up in his preferred manner. He dragged himself from bed, grabbed his phone, and did a double take at the time. It was already past three in afternoon. He had slept longer than he thought. Jae quickly called Yunho to find out where his lover was. If Yunho was at SM then Jae would simply go there to see him. He was finished with time spent apart, and he would not allow Yunho to ignore him. Yunho quickly answered the phone making Jae sigh in relief. “Where are you…you are...where at…I couldn’t talk you into returning to bed could I…you are no fun…I will see you in a bit,” Jae told him, hanging up the phone. So Yunho was taking his calls now, that was an improvement.

Jae walked to a huge dresser and cringed as he stared at his reflection. He needed to shave badly, but the bags under his eyes were significantly improved from the last time he dared look at a mirror.

Jae quickly went through Yunho’s clothing, searching for something that would actually fit him. His thinness was extreme and he knew it. Although Yunho wasn’t fat by any means he was muscular from daily work outs. Jae could wear Yunho’s shirts, but the pants would fall off his thin waist that even a girl would be envious of, and legs that couldn’t rightfully be called chicken legs because they were so thin. Jae finally found a pair of white sweats with a drawstring that he could tie tightly around his waist without risk of flashing the staff. Jae then hurried into the shower to make himself presentable.

When Jae had finishing showering and returned to his usual state of magnificence, he rushed out of the bedroom in search of Yunho. He walked out into the hallway and realized he didn’t even know which way to go. He walked down the hall toward the staircase and found a young, unattractive maid cleaning the banisters. “Excuse me, but where is the study at?”

The young girl blushed as she looked up at him and smiled. “I shall show you, sir.”

“Thank you,” Jae told her, but she was already heading down the stairs at a hurried pace. Jae hurried to keep up with her as she led him through the bottom floor. Jae realized as he passed through unfamiliar rooms that he really needed to explore the house, and he also needed to get to know the staff.

“This is it, Sir,” the young woman told him, pointing to a closed door.

“Thank you…again,” Jae barely managed to get out before the girl was gone. “Strange girl,” Jae muttered as he opened the door to find Yunho sitting at a desk, as Mr. Mok pointed to something on the computer screen in front of Yunho.

“But that’s good…right?” Yunho asked with a slightly dazed expression.

“It is good, indeed,” Mr. Mok confirmed for Yunho.

Yunho smiled and sighed in relief. “Well that’s wonderful and you said…Jae,” Yunho said suddenly as he noticed the man watching him.

“Am I interrupting?” Jae asked, coming into the room and sitting down in the chair across from Yunho’s desk, not really caring if he was interrupting or not.

“Not at all,” Yunho reassured him.

Mr. Mok grabbed some papers from the desk and told Yunho, “I will be going, Mr. Jung. I will keep you informed.” Mr. Mok walked away from the desk and looked down at Jae. “Mr. Kim, I hope all is well.”

“Yes, it is, thank you,” Jae told him as the older man headed out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

“Good morning…afternoon or is it evening?” Yunho asked, grinning at the man sitting across from him who had slept the day away.

Jae smiled back at him, leaned back in the chair, and stretched out his arms. “Late afternoon will work.”

“It’s been a long time since you did the zombie sleep.”

“Well I can only achieve it with you….but then there were better things to be doing with you in bed instead of sleeping,” Jae told him with a wink, causing Yunho to laugh. “So yes, it has been a long time.”

“So I should deny you more often for your health’s sake?”

“Absolutely not, I might get a complex.”

“We wouldn’t want that.”

Jae looked at Yunho hungrily. “We wouldn’t. What are the chances that we could…”

“Extremely poor.”

Jae frowned, not amused. “Don’t tell me you are still holding out on me, because that isn’t fucking funny. I will have…”

“I am not. I just have meetings. I promise my full cooperation tonight,” Yunho interrupted, reassuring the man. “I have a list of things I have to do today. And when was the last time you actually ate something?”

Jae pondered Yunho’s question. “I don’t actually know.”

“You’re too thin. You should be in the kitchen eating. There is a nice cook in there that will be more than happy to feed you.”

“I am more than capable of feeding myself.”

“I know you are, but she gets paid for it,” Yunho told him as he stared at charts on his computer.

“So you have a cook and a weird little maid... how many people work here exactly?” Jae asked as he propped his feet up on Yunho’s desk.

Yunho looked up at Jae. “Too many. I met with them all yesterday and I am going to need a cheat sheet to remember their names. There are four people working security at all times, the main house keeper and butler lives here. Then there are other maids that come and go, and the cook leaves at night. There is also the main gardener that maintains the grounds and he has people working under him, and that’s not even counting my bodyguards or Jim.”

Jae looked at Yunho, amazed. “You have a butler?”

“Well, Lee Soo Man had one…it isn’t like I can fire him. He seems really nice. He’s a foreigner but speaks perfect Korean,” Yunho explained. “I just wish I knew the staff better.”

“Don’t worry, I will have them all eating out of my hand in no time,” Jae told him confidently.

“I am sure you will.”

Jae rubbed his hands together. “So are you planning on living here? He had a penthouse too? You did get the penthouse, didn’t you?”

“I got it all…all of it, but I do plan on living here. I like the privacy…I mean there is lot of staff here, but I am sure if they passed Lee Soo Man’s security checks they are more than trustworthy. It’s nice stepping outside and not hearing screaming fans,” Yunho admitted.

Jae frowned. “But I love screaming fans.”

“Good thing you don’t live here then,” Yunho told him, looking back down at some papers on his desk.

Jae frowned and narrowed his eyes at Yunho. “I am going to live here,” Jae informed Yunho.

Yunho looked up quickly from the papers. “Umm…no you’re not.”

“Yes, I am. Why would I not live here?” Jae snapped as he removed his legs from the desk and sat up on the edge of his chair.

“Because of the great secret that we must always keep at your bequest,” Yunho snapped back at him. “How would it look if we lived together?”


“I am pretty sure your staff have already figured us out, and if the fact that I slept with you when this house is full of empty bedrooms didn’t clue them in, you better fire them now for stupidity,” Jae said, standing up so he could look down at Yunho and show his disapproval properly.

Yunho looked up at Jae and didn’t bother to hide his bitterness. “My staff is bound to confidentially contracts that my mother had them sign yesterday, but per your wishes we are just friends to the world. Friends that do not live together…you can’t have your cake and eat it too. Our relationship will continue like it did before with us living in separate residences.”

“That’s bullshit!” Jae shouted at him.

Yunho pressed his lips together and silently counted to ten and then told Jae, “I wouldn’t want to make you susceptible to unwanted speculations. There is too much of it going around already. I am sure you don’t want to add to it. You are not living here.”

Jae seethed and placed both of his hands on his hips. “You are going to have to throw me out of here.”

“Can I watch?” Changmin asked as he entered the study.

Jae turned and glared at Changmin. “Excuse us, but we are discussing something private and you need to wait outside.”


“As if,” Changmin scoffed, ignoring Jae.


Yunho shook his head. “Jae, you are overreacting.”

Jae turned back around to face Yunho. “Changmin is going to live with you, isn’t he?”

“The whole east wing…that’s mine,” Changmin answered for Yunho.

Jae sat back down in the chair with his nasal passage ways flaring as he tried to control his temper. “You can live with Changmin, but you can’t live with me?”

“I have always lived with Changmin, but he has also decided to keep the apartment too,” Yunho explained quickly.

“Oh, so this is what has his panties in a wad,” Changmin stated as he sat down on the edge of the desk. “Plus we are in the same group. You know SM likes to keep all its group members together…to create unity.”

Jae’s frown instantly vanished at Changmin’s words. “Exactly! Since I will be returning to SM then that solves the problem, doesn’t it?”

“So Yoochun and Junsu have agreed to return?” Yunho asked from behind the desk, refusing not to be difficult.

Changmin frowned. “I doubt they have thought about it. They have too much on their minds right now, but finding out you are the major shareholder has been a huge surprise for them. I don’t…”

“Listen here, you bastard!” Jae said, interrupting Changmin and grabbing a hold of Yunho’s desk, bending over it to glare at him. “That old three or none rule is over. You are can make that damn CEO do whatever you want, so don’t you even think of using that excuse.”

“It isn’t an excuse! I am not going to abuse my power.”

“Yes, you are!”

“No, I am not. You and him can discuss it but I will not influence him in anyway,” Yunho told Jae, standing up to meet his glare.

“God! You make me so mad!” Jae yelled at Yunho, and then fell back into his chair. “Fine then! I will just be your kept man then, but I’m not leaving this house.”

Changmin, who had watched the two men bicker back and forth, rolled his eyes and clarified for them, “Just to clarify... you two are fighting because Jae wants to live here?”

“Yes,” Both Yunho and Jae answered, still glaring at each other.

“Jae wants to live here, and…” Changmin stopped to look at Yunho in disbelief, “you are pretending like you don’t want him to live here? Do I need to remind you of all the moping you did for days because he wouldn’t come to you?”

Jae smiled at Changmin. Jae loved hearing from Changmin’s own mouth that Yunho had moped for him. “Oh, he wants me to live with him, but only if I out myself to the world and destroy everything we have built.”

“That isn’t true,” Yunho denied.

“That’s a lie, my love! That right there is what the whole fight is all about. You are still pissed at my refusal to wreck our careers. My living here wouldn’t create anymore speculation then we already have. Let them speculate…who the fuck cares? We don’t have to confirm anything for them. Changmin’s living here actually helps decrease the speculation. You are just being difficult because you didn’t get your way,” Jae told him with amazing insight into Yunho’s psyche. Yunho looked down at the papers on his desk as both Changmin and Jae looked at him, waiting for his response to Jae’s words. “Yunho…”

“You can live here,” Yunho muttered, still not looking up and meeting Jae’s eyes.

Jae smiled at his stubborn lover. “I am sorry that this is so hard for you, but Yunho it’s for the best. Coming out would be too risky…not to mention stupid.”

Yunho ignored Jae and looked up at Changmin. “What did you want?”

“I have been talking to Junsu and Yoochun and they have almost lost everything. They came and took Yoochun’s cars earlier today,” Changmin told Yunho.

Yunho’s eyes finally met Jae’s who didn’t look surprised. “When you said you were going to be a kept man I thought you were joking. What about your finances?”

Jae, who was relieved to have Yunho looking at him, smiled and answered, “When you got shot and I started living at the hospital and later at Clear Creek I got nervous about my future in JYJ. I started selling my shares and investing in other things and buying real estate. When I decided to leave JYJ and go back to SM I sold almost all my shares. I lost money, but not nearly as much as Yoochun or Junsu.”

“Very clever of you, Jae,” Changmin admitted.

Yunho met Jae’s eyes, and something Jae couldn’t catch passed between them. “Clever indeed.”
“Back to why I am here. They are being harassed and the house they were staying at has been found out. They have like a hundred reporters chasing after them, so I thought they could come here and wait out the storm,” Changmin told both of the older men.

“That’s actually a really good idea,” Jae answered immediately. That Changmin was concerned for Junsu and Yoochun made his heart swell with happiness.

Changmin and Jae both turned to Yunho, who looked slightly torn. “I have no problem with Junsu and Yoochun coming here…but nobody else. Not their brothers, parents, friends, or girlfriends. Just the two of them.”
“Of course, just them,” Changmin was quick to agree with Yunho.

Jae watched them and sensed that although their relationships with Yoochun and Junsu were much improved, so much was left unforgiven when it came to the people that surrounded them. “I assume Changmin’s family is welcome here at anytime?”

“Of course,” Changmin quickly answered. It was no secret that the Jung and Shim families were practically one.

“As are Mr. and Mrs. Kim, and your siblings,” Yunho added, making Jae smile. “Actually I should just ask your mom to move in. I enjoy talking with her so much.”

“So not funny!” Jae cringed, wishing now he hadn’t asked.

Changmin smirked at the look of horror on Jae’s face. “Well, I am going to go call them and invite them over. See what they say, and then I am going to go take a swim.”

“A swim sounds nice…wish I had the time,” Yunho told Changmin, looking wistful at the thought of swimming.

Jae’s horror of his grandchild obsessed mother living with him vanished when Changmin mentioned swimming. “You are never to swim without somebody with you! Ever,” Jae said, getting up and pointing at Yunho.

“Duh,” Yunho said, shaking his head at Jae’s protective instincts. “Jae, you go eat. Changmin, you call them. I have work that demands my attention.”

Changmin slid off the desk. “I think we were just dismissed.”

“By the great lord of the manor,” Jae teased as he walked around the desk and placed his hands on Yunho’s shoulders, squeezing them.

“Go eat,” Yunho told the man, standing behind him.

“First things first,” Jae told him, turning Yunho’s chair around and then bending down and kissing Yunho for the first time in days. Changmin hurried out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

Yunho kissed him back but then pushed him away. “I am serious, go eat.”

Jae frowned as he stepped away from Yunho and headed toward the door. “You are no fun.”

Yunho just smiled at his lover as he opened the door to leave. “I promise to make it up to you…later.”
  • Current Music: Strong Enough, Sheryl Crow
omgod, i was scared out of my life reading the first half of the chapter. I was so scared they were gonna fight, and leave eachother, and all these horrible things were gonna happen @_@
BUT THANK YOU FOR NOT MAKING THAT HAPPEN LOL.
But their relationship is so strained because of the whole "outting" thing now ;x &I kinda feel like JiHye's bias for Jae is gonna be a problem too.. like adding fuel to a fire? ;/
thanks for updating so fast ♥
"Are you jae's fangirl or yunho's sister?" "i'm both. Yunho needs him"
jihye line ~.~

omg ....
yunho is rich now *__*
but i'm kinda confused here, i'm gonna re-read all chap after i finish all my homework
so glad that they're in good terms right now :)
I have a feeling this will be a happy ending
Jae irritated me beyond belief and I know Soo Man and everyone in S.Korea and LJ wants them together but this chapter was just too much of his stupid ass selfishness to take >.<. Almost made me slur like Yunho out of anger. I like Jae and I mostly find him amusing but I gotta agree with Chulie life would be so much easier for Yunho if he was with him instead of the boy you can literally see the fruity juices dripping off but then he looks at you and you think OMG! He likes me <=O >.>

Once again Min and Jae have tagged teamed on Yunho's ass. I actually feel kinda bad for CHun and Su and even though Jae has vowed to pretty much take his secret to the grave, he does a poor job of hiding it by making it so freakin obvious that he has one >.>. Yunho has pretty much figured it out (or is close to getting it) and I think Chun will eventually. JAe is smart but when he is unguarded he tends to let lil details that alone are harmless slip but to someone who KNOWS Jae and can actually figure him out and knows the way his sick mind works, those lil details become oh so important...

Despite my...annoyance with Jae this chapter, I still enjoyed it! One of the few stories these days that I actually look forward to seeing update!
Ummm well, what can I say?? I guess all we can do now is wait to see if Jae's plan to reunite DBSK will succeed. I certainly hope so!! Beacuse honestly, if that's the end result after all of this, that's fine by me! ;)
wow I kinda figured that Yunho would guess that Jae had betrayed them. >_< I am just surprised that Yunho didn't take Jaejoong aside and ask him why, then again he already knew why. as long as Junsu and Yoochun don't know then i think everything will be okay. but I also worry about how Jaejoong's family would take the news if they found out Jaejoong was the one who gave sooman the things to ruin Cjes. :/ Would they hate him? seeing as his sister was thrown in jail because of all of this?

I wonder if Changmin figured it out and is okay with it as well. lord knows min would be more than welcomed to the thought of Cjes being destroyed from there own. For some reason I feel like he does know and is okay with it :/

and Junsu and Yoochun. IDK what I think they are thinking LOL. they probably don;t have a clue Y____Y from what I read LOL.

i really hope for a happy ending,but what jae did was kinda bad esp towards yoosu.
i doubt they can forgive him.
thank u so much for the fast update.

btw my first time being on the first page^____^
geez,thanks for the super fast updated,that was my morning gift when i first wake up,hehehe....

oh,so now jae wanted to appear frightening by what yunho is going to do...seriously,i m sure yunho already know jae's secret but just dont feel like spitting out(maybe yunho thinks its the best way to remain silent n since like yunho didnt mind it at all,maybe?)

n i always like the argue between jae,min,chul...its cute...
so,finally they are going to be 5 again!cant wait to see whats going to happen,just hope that yunho will be the only one who knows jae secret n forgive him(as for the others,i hope he can bring his secret to his grave,coz i cant imagine what if the 3 of them find out(signing)...

i got a feeling this is going to end soon,is it my beloved author???haha,sad to say but i'll still wait for ur update....

yay!! the mansion is gonna be a dong bang house \o/

the plots really interesting and i think i could already see the light but you probably would throw some more dark stuff at us..idek, this is why you're so good..i have no idea whats going down next, especially with yoosu in the house
GOD THIS CHAPTER IS SO CRAZY. OH. MY. GOD.

what the hell is this? roflmao~XDDDDDDDDDD i loved reading it! so yunho gets EVERYTHING and is now FILTHY STINKING RICH!!!

he has a mansion & that penthouse, a whole staff too!!! DAMN.

it's a good thing that yunho isn't letting that get to his head. A VERY VERY GOOD THING.

yunho is such a softy tho, LOL. changmin's fault really~ roflmao~ jae is now going to live with him (along with changmin) but what happens to yoosu? after what jae did to them & cjes, they have actually lost everything... jae included.

will yunho offer his hand to help? oops. he already did. at least to just the 2 of them~

nice to know that not everything that's happened between the 5 of them have been totally forgiven.
YAY! YUNJAE IS BACK!
I feel so horrible for Yoochun and Junsu... they're always something wrong with them D: I hope they're ok and that all 5 of them can finalllly be together ;___;
Thank you so so much for the quick update <3