Damaged, Chapter Five

Title: Damaged
Author: aquariuslover
Pairing: Yunjae
Rating: R
Genre: Future AU, Drama, Angst
Beta Motty123
Summary: On a cold winter’s day he cast their love away for the sake of his family. The following autumn an act of vengeance left their love beyond the reaches of forgiveness. Two summers later a fan’s anger and the ultimate act of self-sacrifice would redefine everything they knew about love, pride, selfishness, and forgiveness.

Previous Chapters

When Yunho awoke the next morning it was to the feel of Jae’s hand under his shirt rubbing across his upper chest. “Jae!” Yunho growled, clearly annoyed at the intrusive touch.

“Your man moobs are gone. Another reason you need to eat more, they were the only breasts that ever did anything for me,” Jae said, raising himself up and smiling down at Yunho.

“Behave,” Yunho warned but he couldn’t help but laugh at Jae and how ridiculous he looked in his stage outfit, wild hair, and messed up make-up.

“Are you laughing at my look?” Jae asked, smiling as he climbed up on top of Yunho sprawling out across him.

“Get off,” Yunho moaned at the added weight on top of him.

“Nope,” Jae told him as they were face to face. Yunho turned his head quickly before Jae could try anything, but instead he found himself in a fierce bear hug. “I missed you. I hated leaving you.”

“Not gone a day,” Yunho managed to get out quite clearly to his surprise even as he was being hugged within an inch of his life.

Jae loosened the embrace and looked down at him, “You better have missed me too.”

“Maybe, get off,” Yunho reached up with his left hand and swatted at Jae but the other man just laughed at him.

“I slept in this monstrosity of a Halloween costume for you, so you better have missed me. Do you have any clue how bad this itches?” Jae asked, smiling at the man beneath him who couldn’t help but smile back at him.

“I’m sorry gettt ooofffff!” The words were out of his mouth and only when Jae’s lips met his did he realize the error in his words. Yunho found himself responding instinctively and found their tongues entangled in that old familiar dance that came way too naturally for Yunho’s liking. When he felt Jae’s hand slowly glide down his body something snapped in his mind. A memory so horrible that it wiped away any instinct he might have succumbed to. Yunho suddenly became cold and clenched his mouth shut, turning his head.

Jae’s whole body had responded desperately and quickly. When Yunho had turned his head Jae had just gone to work on Yunho’s neck, savoring every taste of the man. When Jae’s hand reached lower and squeezed he soon found the other man was not aroused at all. Jae jerked his hand back quickly and pulled up and away from Yunho.

“I’m sorry,” Jae said, climbing off Yunho who was fuming at him quietly refusing to look at him. “I don’t know what came over me…it’s just been so long since we have been…you…you…you didn’t feel anything?” Jae asked, deeply troubled. He wasn’t used to such a lack of response.

“Nothing,” Yunho told him, turning to watch Jae digest the information.

“How can that be? We were always so good together…since we were sixteen…that was never a problem,” Jae asked again, unable to comprehend Yunho’s lack of response. All during their separation he had imagined what it would be like if he could just get Yunho to let his guard down.

“Things change,” Yunho told him simply, as Jae’s disbelief started to amuse him. Jae’s hidden vanity that so many were unaware of really was a monster.

“It’s that damn catheter! That has to be why,” Jae said, sitting up in bed. He was clearly aroused, his clothing hiding nothing.

“Catheter is oouur friend,” Yunho reminded him, smiling at the frustrated man.

“The hell it is,” Jae cursed, but then seemed to realize how inappropriate his behavior was and covered his face with his hands. “What am I saying? You can’t even move your right side, you woke up a week ago, can’t even pee on your own and I just want to…I am as bad as Heechul says.”

“I hope not,” Yunho couldn’t help but frown as he was reminded of Heechul’s accusations the night before.

Jae grabbed Yunho’s hand instantly. “No, no, no. I never ever did anything when you were like that. It’s only now that my mentally disturbed side is surfacing.”

“Should I be comforted or scared?” Yunho said, smiling brightly because that was the longest sentence he had ever gotten out so clearly since he had awakened.

Jae’s eyes narrowed at Yunho, but his desire was still there boiling. “I am glad my embarrassment delights you so much.”

“It helps my speech,” Yunho told him brightly, smiling at the man who looked like he was about to pounce on him.

“I got to go take a shower before I do something that might be considered assault in more liberal minded countries,” Jae said, sliding out of the bed.

“Cold!” Yunho told him, smirking.

“Yes, cold! Very cold shower,” Jae told him as he grabbed a pair of sweats and went into the bathroom, closing the door and locking it.

*********************

When Jae finally emerged from his shower he found that the nurses had already gotten Yunho out of bed and had him sitting up in the chair with breakfast in front of him. Hana had pulled up a chair beside Yunho and was chatting away with him. Jae slowed before leaving the bathroom to eavesdrop on them.

“Is he really sick?” Hana asked Yunho, clearly not believing it.

“Very,” Yunho said, smiling as he placed a spoonful of cereal in his mouth.

“I’m glad I didn’t buy tickets. How can he be sick when he drove all the way down here? He even chased off your friends. The night nurses are too in love with him to think clearly,” Hana moaned as she leaned farther back in her chair.

“Yoouu…yoouu and Bong Cha shoouuld always be here,” Yunho told her as he grabbed a piece of bacon.

“That’s so sweet of you. The night nurses are a different breed. I swear if they talk about what a wonderful friend Jae is again I am going to hit them for being too stupid to live,” Hana practically growled causing Yunho to give her an odd look. “He is so in love with you.”

“No, yoou are wrong,” Yunho said with a certainty which caused Jae to frown from the doorway.

“Well I hope I marry a man half as dedicated to me as your friend is to you,” Hana said, smiling at Yunho and refusing to be swayed from her beliefs.

“Careful what yooou wish for,” Yunho told her, not looking at her as he continued to eat his breakfast.

“Well none of the other staff believe as I do. They are too busy dreaming about him to open their eyes and see reality. Soo Jin is the worse and she is his noona by twenty years. She was telling everybody how rude Heechul was to her. She also said Heechul was treating you badly and that is why she called Jae. She said Jae hurried back and chased him off for being rude to the both of you.”

“Is that…hair..haircut nuurse?” Yunho asked, putting down his energy drink. He didn’t like her at all.

Hana looked slightly confused and then brightened suddenly. “Yes, she did recently get a new hairstyle!”

“Heechuul was ruude. He could tell I don’t like her,” Yunho told her then he picked up another spoonful of cereal.

Hana moved to the edge of the chair. “You don’t like her? Did she do something to you?”

“Of course not,” Jae said, leaving the bathroom with his hair still wet. “Although I highly doubt she sits and gossips with her patients. Especially about stuff that she has signed a confidentiality contract to never discuss.”

Hana jumped up from the chair as Jae glared at her. “Yunho, if you need anything, just call.” Hana hurried off and tried her best not to look at Jae who she could tell was still angry about her concert slip-up.

Jae took the chair that Hana had recently vacated and turned to a very unhappy Yunho. “Don’t look at me like that. She knows too much about us to be indulged.”

“You are mean,” Yunho said without any difficulty.

Jae sighed. “No, I’m not. But she doesn’t need to be in our business. She already knows that it isn’t friendship that brings me here.”

Yunho turned away from him and continued to eat. If Jae was about to confess something to him, he wasn’t interested.

“Do you really not like Soo Jin?” Jae asked Yunho, but Yunho continued to eat and ignored him. “Why don’t you like her? Don’t ignore me. You have no idea what kind of hell I have brought on myself by being here with you.”

That made Yunho stop eating but he didn’t turn to look at Jae. “I didn’t ask yoouu.”

“No, you would never ask me. You know that would make me too happy,” Jae told him spitefully as he got up to close the door.

“You shoouuld go back, say youu got better,” Yunho told him, following the other man with his eyes.

“I can’t,” Jae told him as he sat back down in the chair beside him.

“Why not?” Yunho asked sincerely, because Yunho could not imagine ever skipping out on such a huge responsibility…but then again their ideas of loyalty had never been the same.

“Don’t be an idiot. Right now, I can be with you because your father doesn’t know, Changmin doesn’t know…when they know you will send me away. So I will stay as long as I can,” Jae told him, staring him straight in the eye.

Yunho frowned and shook his head in annoyance. “Don’t act like yoouu care.”

Jae sighed and grabbed Yunho’s left hand before he could grab more breakfast. Jae had felt this coming the more he had listened to Yunho and Hana’s conversation. “You mean everything to me.”

“No,” Yunho told him, pulling his hand away like a spoiled child.

“Yes,” Jae said, grabbing the hand again.

“Till I do something to make yoouu mad,” Yunho told him. He hated the feeling of anxiety that was coming over him.

Jae’s eyes widened and he couldn’t deny that truth, how could he ever deny that?

“Yoouu huuurt me as muuuch as yoouu love me,” Yunho told him, jerking his hand away easily. Yunho was certain without a doubt that he had never spoken truer words.

Jae let Yunho’s hand go without a fight. He clasped his own hands together in his lap and tried to calm himself so he could calm Yunho. “We both hurt each other, but I hurt myself more than I hurt anybody.”

“No, me and Changgmin huurrt the woorse,” Yunho said, shaking his head. “I always blaamed me…buuut not anymoorre.” He had carried so much blame before the accident, almost shielding Jae from any of it…well, not anymore.

“It’s done. Let’s not think about it anymore. I am here now and I want you to get better even if it means I will lose you again…isn’t that an improvement?” Jae asked as he pushed Yunho’s tray away and kneeled down in front of him.

“Yes,” Yunho had to agree but it wasn’t enough. “No moore love talk or touuching me. Yoouu have a million boyfriends goo sleep with one of them.”

Jae suddenly looked as if he had been slapped but he didn’t move from his spot, but also he couldn’t bring himself to look at Yunho. “I haven’t been with anybody since you were shot,” Jae said, laying a comforting hand on Yunho’s right knee, trying to reason with the man.

Yunho laughed at him bitterly. “Only becauuse I wasn’t awake and it coouuldn’t huurrt me.”

“No, because I love…” Jae stopped suddenly and grabbed Yunho’s right leg with both of his hands. “I felt it move.”

“My foot too,” Yunho said suddenly excited, their excruciating past forgotten for now.

Jae pulled Yunho’s shoe off quickly. “Can you move your toes?”

Yunho reached down and placed his left hand on Jae’s shoulder to help steady him as he tried to move the foot with all his strength. “Trying.”

“You can do it,” Jae said as he pulled off Yunho’s sock too. “I know you can.”

“I am trying buut…awe.” Yunho and Jae both gasped at the same time as the big toe of Yunho’s right foot moved slightly.

“Jae…” Yunho said, fighting the tears of relief that were building in his eyes.

“I know,” Jae said, turning around to face Yunho smiling with happiness. “I knew you could do it. You will walk again. I know it.”

“I will walk,” Yunho said, trying to pull Jae up to him with his left hand. Jae immediately understood Yunho’s intention and flung himself in the man’s arms. Yunho hugged him back with all his heart.

*************

Bong Cha had made Yunho take a Whirlpool bath much to his displeasure. Even if the water was bubbling and hiding most of his body, he still hated the thought of being naked in front of anybody right now.

“Don’t frown so much,” Bong Cha told him, rolling her eyes as she scrubbed his back. “You don’t want your facial droop to come back.”

Yunho couldn’t help but frown. Even if she did allow him to wash his privates, it really was humiliating. The only part of his day that was worse was when he had to have a bowel movement…then the humiliation almost killed him. Either it was the bedpan or they assisted him to the toilet refusing to leave him for fear he would topple over.

“Well I am going to leave you in here to soak for a bit. They have been working you a lot and sweat is not good for the skin. When you walk out of here your skin is going to be perfect. No breakdown on my watch,” Bong Cha told him as she finished scrubbing his back and got up and started collecting the towels.

Yunho smiled at the thought of walking out of here. He squinted his eyes as he struggled to move his right foot and to his supreme happiness it moved up in the water a little.

“Starting to like these baths, huh?” Jae teased as he walked into the whirlpool room, noticing Yunho’s smile.

“No!” Yunho said instantly and glared at Jae. How did he get in here? He shared lots of things with Jae but he wasn’t ready to share bath time.

“Don’t let him drown,” Bong Cha ordered, pointing her finger at Jae as she walked by.

“Only if he really pisses me off,” Jae teased, causing Bong Cha to turn around and give him a very disapproving look.

“Kidding, I’d rather shave my head,” Jae told her, causing her to shake her head at his extreme self-sacrifice, but it worked. She left the room and shut the door behind her.

“Yoouu shoouuld,” Yunho said, smiling at the thought of a bald Jae. He could imagine Jae’s fan girls crying all over the world.

Jae pulled off his shoes and socks and sat down beside Yunho on the Whirlpools edge, soaking his feet in the water. “My hair is a national treasure. It would cause a public uprising.”

“Pluus yoouu wouuld cry,” Yunho told him as he felt Jae reach for his hair again. Yunho had long given up trying to keep Jae’s hands out of his hair.

“I should grow it out longer like yours. It’s so long, thick and healthy now. I love it dark like this. You can never tell it was shaved off,” Jae said mesmerized by Yunho’s dark locks of hair.

“Shaved?” Yunho asked, surprised. His hair had been shaved off?

“Silly, you were shot in the head. You had to have emergency brain surgery,” Jae told him, flipping water in Yunho’s face.

“Stop it. I don’t remember,” Yunho told him, frowning up at his favorite tormenter.

“I wish I didn’t,” Jae confessed as he stopped splattering Yunho with water. “For two days I have been very well behaved, but I have to ask…”

“No!” Yunho told him quickly. He knew Jae being in here was a bad idea. What had Bong Cha been thinking to leave him with this man? Of course she had been thinking Jae was his dedicated friend, well Yunho would have to inform her otherwise.

“What did you talk about with Heechul?” Jae asked and Yunho could hear the amusement in Jae’s voice.

“Oh, well stuuuff.”

“Stuff? What kind of stuff?” Jae persisted, removing his hand from Yunho’s hair to hold the edge of the pool tightly.

“Me getting better…food,” Yunho answered, saying as little as he could. If Jae thought his whole life was open to him, he was wrong.

“Food? Did that little Ryeowook bring you something to eat?” Jae asked, his voice very calm… too calm.

“No, they were tired from their concert. He will thouugh. He will bring me lots,” Yunho said, delighted at the thought. It still aggravated him that Jae wasn’t cooking for him or giving any reason as to why he wasn’t.

“Did they tell you about Changmin?” Jae just finally blurted out what he really wanted to know.

Yunho turned to look at Jae suspiciously. This was not a good topic for them. “Yoouu don’t know?”

Jae sighed loudly, annoyed. “Of course I don’t know. He hates me. He has stopped associating with anybody who might let me know how he is. For months there was no news on him at all. He is doing a movie now, but other than that I know nothing.”

“I won’t betray him either,” Yunho told Jae honestly. If Changmin went to such effort to keep the details of his life hidden from Jae, then Yunho would honor his wishes.

“Betray him? How is letting me know how he is doing betraying him? Fucking pisses me off,” Jae said, standing up suddenly in a huff. “People would tell me the same bullshit when I asked about you.”

“No truue friend of mine shoouulld ever speak to yoouu aboouut me! Yoouu tried to huurrt me,” Yunho pointed out, thinking back on those awful times.

“You are different. Changmin…I didn’t set out to hurt him,” Jae admitted as he paced behind Yunho.

“Yoouu left him too…with them. Yoouu ended the only world he knew,” Yunho told him softly, remembering those days all too well. He remembered Changmin’s pain and disillusionment even if the younger man had denied it.

“He could have come with us. We begged him to come with us,” Jae explained, still avoiding Yunho’s gaze as he continued to pace behind him.

Yunho felt like he had suddenly been hit hard in the stomach. “Perfect revenge then.”

“Yes, I was that angry with you. I miscalculated though,” Jae told bitterly from behind Yunho.

“He wasn’t uunder yoouur spell,” Yunho explained, but there had always been a part of him that had wished for Changmin’s sake that he had left with them.

“No, nor was he tempted by greed. You were his friend, his brother, his father, his hero. You were the one that didn’t disappoint him. Whatever temptation he had once felt for me was merely his desire to be like you, it had nothing to do with me,” Jae informed Yunho, standing still behind him carefully and staying out of the man’s line of sight.

“His cruush on yoouu,” Yunho couldn’t help but remember those times. Those times had made Yunho feel so old. Changmin had rebelled up against him like an unruly teenager and in his rebellion he had become fascinated by Jae.

Jae couldn’t help but smile as he moved forward, sitting back down on the whirlpool edge next to Yunho. “I used to delight in teasing him.”

“He was stuuck with uus all the time. He never got to see a real girl that wasn’t a scary screaming fan. Yoouu were the closest thing to a girl he had easily available,” Yunho joked resulting in Jae knocking him on the shoulder gently.

“The only girly thing about me was the fact that I was yours. He wanted to be just like you,” Jae said, smiling down at Yunho.

“Yoouu uused to be like a girl then, so soft,” Yunho said, thinking back fondly on the old softer version of Jae. He had taken so much pleasure in Jae back then.

Jae gave him a very annoyed look. “I was dealing with a boyfriend who couldn’t decide if he loved me or hated himself more. I tried to make it as easy as I could for you.”

“Those were very hard times. If yoouu had only gotten all muuscuular then everything would be different now,” Yunho told him, enjoying the warm water against his skin.

“Awe, so you liked my muscles. You never really said,” Jae said and smiled at an admission he had long waited for.

“No, hated them,” Yunho confessed, smiling bigger.

Jae frowned, looking down at his arms immediately. “Hated them?”

“Yes, too manly. I liked yoouu before yoouu tuurned manly.”

“I am a man you, idiot!” Jae said, thumping him on the shoulder harder this time.

“I know, buut I liked to forget and back then it was easier to forget,” Yunho told him, wincing at Jae’s attack.

“Sometimes, I swear…….back to Changmin,” Jae said as he reached over and started to gently rub where he had hit Yunho.

“He had sex with a real girl and forgot aboouut yoouu,” Yunho said, smiling at the memory. He had never been so happy in his life. A confused Changmin with Jae purposely toying with him had made Yunho’s life hell.

“Like you did!” Jae spit out hatefully.

Yunho’s eyes went wide looking around the whirlpool for an emergency call light. This was a topic that would get him drowned for sure. “Changmin is okay. He took it haarrd, buuutt he has goood friends,” Yunho sputtered out in attempt to change the topic fast.

Jae tugged at Yunho’s hair. “Stop looking so scared. If I drowned you, then I would have to drown myself.”

“Oouuch!” Yunho said, reaching up with his left hand to his head where Jae had tugged on his hair.

“That didn’t hurt. What hurts is forgetting that I was a huge part of Changmin’s life too. More than a couple months worth of a stupid, harmless crush,” Jae said, petting Yunho now on the top of his head.

“Yoouu are mean to yoouur admirers,” Yunho said knowingly, although Jae had saved most his abuse for Yunho until they ended.

“It can’t be helped. They know from the start that I will never love them back, I will only ever love…So what awful things did Heechul say about me?” Jae asked, careful to change the topic. The talk was getting dangerous, so he backed off quickly. He didn’t want to deal with a fussy Yunho tonight.

“He saved them for yoouur catfight,” Yunho pointed out, remembering the horrible things they had said to each other.

“Well he isn’t two faced I will give him that,” Jae admitted as he moved his hand away from Yunho as he saw the door opening.

“Oh,” Yunho whined seeing the door open. Getting dried off and dressed was almost as bad as the bath.


*******************



Yunho was pretty sure that Bill’s assistant was some kind of demon spawn from hell. She was working him so hard that he was biting his lip to keep from whining. When she wasn’t putting his right side through rigorous range of motion exercises the left side was getting abused with muscle strengthening exercises.

At the moment he was on some kind of torture machine that was supposed to be strengthening his left arm and leg but he really thought it was trying to tear them off.

“You must try harder. You have to really push it,” she told him as she slapped his left leg trying to get him to tighten it up.

“Okay,” Yunho said, trying his best. He still has his pride after all…well maybe a little piece of it. She was beautiful he supposed, too bad about the total lack of a personality. He was tempted to smile at her or touch her arm and see if Jae would come over and throw one of his jealous fits…just so he could be rid of her.

He decided he would make eye contact with Jae and plead for his help instead. Jae’s jealousy wasn’t something he should unleash lightly. He turned his head to look at the other man who was sitting by the wall waiting for him to be done. Jae wasn’t watching him though, instead he was frowning at his phone like he wanted to throw it down and stomp it into pieces.

“Young Mi, I have it from here,” Bill said as he walked up to relieve the young woman who nodded at him and took off. Bill turned to grin at Yunho. “Have you had enough for today?”

“Yes!” Yunho answered too eagerly and nodded his head to emphasize how ready he was to be done.

“I know the last week as been rough on you, but dude once that leg moved we had a golden opportunity and we have to push it to the max,” Bill told him as he bent down and started massaging Yunho’s right foot.

“Barely lift it,” Yunho said, frowning in frustration at the slow progress.

“You can lift a foot that was never supposed to move again. You have to think positive. Where has that positive personality gone?” Bill asked, moving his hands up to massage Yunho’s calf.

“It’s tired…but it is still here,” Yunho said as he watched Bill. “It stings more today,” Yunho said of the right foot that Bill was working on.

“It’s coming back to life,” Bill told him, smiling up at him.

Yunho smiled at that too. “Back to life.”

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” Jae said, storming up to them, He didn’t look happy at all.

“Well I am glad we are the last ones in here, some people might be offended,” Bill said, giving Jae a disapproving look.

Jae gave him a look that suggested the he would not have cared if half of the population of Korea had been in the room. “I have to go.”

Yunho, who had been searching for words to chastise Jae with, suddenly looked at him in surprise. “Why?”

“Work,” Jae said, moving over to Yunho and running his hand through the man’s hair. “I can’t get out of it without a hundred people showing up here and dragging me off.”

“Oh,” Yunho answered. He didn’t want Jae to leave, especially when Jae had been behaving so nicely by not molesting him or bringing up troublesome feelings.

“What exactly are you doing to his leg?” Jae asked, unable to keep his possessive eyes off Bill’s hands which were massaging Yunho’s leg.

“Helping it,” Yunho answered because the stinging was getting better.

“His leg is almost devoid of any muscles now, so what little it does have I am getting them to relax so they don’t cramp up on him,” Bill told Jae and there was slight amusement in his voice.

“How long?” Yunho asked, still dwelling on the thought of Jae leaving him again.

“I don’t know. It could be a week…or longer,” Jae told him, frowning. “I have to go now, I have put it off too long and I have made some powerful people very unhappy.”

Yunho couldn’t help but frown…a week? Jae was going to leave him for week? Yunho was too busy feeling sorry for himself that he didn’t notice that Bill had let his leg go.

“I am going to give you guys some privacy,” Bill told them, giving them a wink as he walked away.

Yunho frowned as he noticed Jae smirking and he immediately responded, “Friends.”

“If he thought we were just friends he wouldn’t have winked.” Jae told Yunho with his hand still running through the other man’s hair.

“I will tell him the truuuth,” Yunho said, reaching up and grabbing Jae’s hand that was in his hair.

“Oh, will you?” Jae said, smiling as he squeezed Yunho’s hand. “The whole truth?”

“Not the past,” Yunho said, shaking his head and not letting go of Jae’s hand.

“I sleep with you, I’m protective of you, I neglect my career for you, I go bat shit crazy for you and I might have an unhealthy attachment to you. Our Korean brethren might be able to explain it all away as brotherhood, but Bill is an American and I doubt he would even try to.”

“Friends,” Yunho insisted because that was all they would ever be and he had thought even the possibility of friendship had slipped away from them forever.

Jae looked at him sadly. “At your request, my love.”

Now Yunho jerked his hand away. He wasn’t going to listen to this without a fight. This would only lead to him remembering things, things he wanted to forget. “Stop!”

“I didn’t start anything. I just called you my love. I mean do you honestly think I don’t love you? Do we need to have another scan of you head?” Jae snapped.

Yunho took his left hand up and rubbed his head with it. Why did he start these fights? Of course he knew Jae loved him. A person would have to be deaf, blind, and numb not to know…not to feel it. Jae’s love had never been an issue, he was quite positive Jae had loved him always…but it hadn’t stopped him from…. Yunho pushed those memories away, they were the past and this was the present…a present in which he was so grateful to Jae. “I’m…” Yunho stopped suddenly before uttering the word that would only make everything worse. “I know.”

Jae reached down and took Yunho’s hand again. “Don’t let them work you too hard. Take a sleeping pill if you need it. I know you hate the food, but it’s what your body needs. They have my phone number…if you need me. I will come back no matter what.” Jae let go of Yunho’s hand reluctantly and turned and started walking away.

“I will misss youuu,” Yunho blurted out before his old anger could stop him from giving Jae what he needed.

Jae stopped suddenly and turned around with a smile full of such love and warmth that Yunho couldn’t help but smile back at him. “Me too…more than you know!” Jae told him then he hurried out of the room.

"My hair is a national treasure it would cause a public uprising." <--flowerboy forever, that jae. XD

i bet you are going to call me crazy again because i got here first. XD my aquariuslover radar works even when i am busy bashing in twitter. first of all, i feel that i should explain why i ROTFLMAOed in twitter. XD the first few lines spelled hot, but i prolly thought it was especially hotter after the KW action in nanjing (it's irrelevant, i know, but it influenced my already perverted mind XD). i ROTFLMAOed because while poor jae was suffering from the effects of his horniness, i remember a clip that an even crazier friend had sent me weeks ago. i found that though i am a pervert, i couldn't look at that suju pic without blushing beet red for the scandal it brought me. XD not making sense, but i'm just explaining and/or making a reference, so don't be offended, please.

and that jae! SHAMELESS AND HORNY indeed!!! LOOOOOOL~

the clever and masterful volleying of the scenes and emotions is definitely your trademark. i won't elaborate or else that's all people will be looking at. XD

i am very big on anything that should be fair. and so i am miffed that yunho, despite his excuse of wanting people around him, still could be swayed. he's frail, i'll give him that, but the situation he is in is...arggg. it's not fair. D: why am i not making sense? because twitter is distracting me while i type this. LMAO~

you are the greatest. mwah! XD
This fic is just so good ! I love how you describe the relationship between YunJae. It's so complicated and oscillate between love and hate.
I don't know what Yunho did to Jae (well, the way Jae said "like you it" makes me think that Yunho cheated on JJ with a girl but there might be more), and I don't know what Jae did to Yunho either (except for the fact that he took his revenge and leaved TVXQ with Yoosu) but it's obvious that these two still love each other. I just hope that Yunho will open up more to Jae and stop pushing him away. I mean, Jae is regretful and take good care of him, even neglicting his work and getting into troubles so why can't Yunho be more considerate ?
I'm glad you updated and I will once again wait for next chapter ^^
thanks :)
Jae's still an ass. just my opinion.
I fear it won't be the ebst for Yunho to keep staying close to Jae. of course, he can't just tell him to fuck off, because he ssurely won't leave without a fight, but seeing how cruel Jaejoong can be despite his love, is making me feel very conflicted.
he wanted Changmin to come with them? to make it even harder for Yunho, just because he wanted revenge? that'd be too cruel.
Jaejoong's way of revenge is merciless, he is selfish in his needs and demands and his love is bordering on hate, that I'm suree whenever tough times came up again, they'd be thrown back into the same circle all over again.
I can't agree with the way Yunho (seemingly) broke off with Jaejoong before, BUT I can see the reason behind it. just because Jae thought suddenly the whole world was after him, didn't justify his actions. the same with Changmin. he sees the other hates him for his doings, but in his mind there isn't even a real reason to... maybe Jaejoong has problems seeing his own problems and wrong doings?

if he can't sit back and slowly, carefully, make his way back into Yunho's life, gain back the trust that was shattered on both sides, he won't come far. but he can't, his selfishness and greed make him push the other to his limits, he's not a patient person when he thinks he is right.
and I fear that he will realize at one point, that insisting he loves Yunho above everything else, won't be enough. it wasn't enough before the accident and it won't be now. but up until now he doesn't seem to have realized that.

Yunho on the other hand was always weak when it came to Jae... who wouldn't? Jaejoong's love undoubtfully is strong and burning, but like I said above, it can turn around completely in a matter of seconds. and just like before Yunho will slowly start letting himself be hurt by that love again.
his own feelings won't let him let Jaejoong go, because every human heart delights in being loved, cherished, even worshipped. but yeah... that won't be enough, given Yunho's position, Jaejoong's former decision and the society they live in.

while it still might be okay for Kyuhyun and Ryeowook, it can't be the same for them. before it might have worked, but now, after sides had been taken, I doubt things will get easier, despite Jaejoong pushing, wishing for them to be. Yunho won't come back to his side, just because he wants him to, even though I can see the sweet promise of it slowly getting to Yunho's heart.

I do hope next chapters will shed a light on things and how, in the end, both sides had hurt each other beyond condonation.
i'm enjoying this fic more and more! i don't know if i should love you or kill you for not giving too much away...
The sunshine lasts a bit longer, and I like it :) I must say I'm not very familiar with YunJae, but this chap is really sweet. It does make me smile like Ryeo in my icon~~~
Your precious Ryeowook icon.:)

The sunshine is nice.....I think I will open my windows.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
Tsk...can Yunnie really do without Jae? His life was going to be taken if it's not because of Jae coming and revive him and he still act cold to Jae?

Waiting for the next part!! ^___^
As usual, I LOVE their interaction and once again 'the catheter is our friend' XD priceless. I still can't help but wonder wtf really happened to them and wow JAe really was trying to destroy Yunho he even wanted Min with him makes ya think what could have been so bad that you would rip a dream apart....I would love to get Junsu and Yoochun's thoughts on this because I'm sure they might be aware of what is going on....and I want Minnie!
One of the three will be making an appearance in an upcoming chapter.

“The opposite of love isn’t like or ambivalence. True love doesn’t fade away, it is destroyed in fire.” To quote Yunho in TFAN...wait that is really quoting myself. Needless to day it was bad, very bad.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting!
First thing when I woke up was read this... Lol I was excited to read it I loved it. Jaejoong was all embarressed and I like how it helps Yunho's speech.
“It’s that damn catheter that has to be why.” Jae said sitting up in bed he was clearly aroused his clothing hiding nothing.
“Catheter is oouur friend.” Yunho reminded him smiling at the frustrated man.
“The hell it is.” Jae cursed, but then seemed to realize how inappropriate his behavior was and covered his face with his hands. “What am I saying? You can’t even move your right side, you woke up a week ago, can’t even pee on your own and I just want to…I am as bad as Heechul says.”

Favourite part of this chapter oh and when Yunnie said he will miss him.
I almost didn't share this story because I knew some fans would take it the way they wanted too and not see that it can be interrupted in multiple ways.

If you read back over the comments from all the chapters you will see comments like, I love Jae, I hate Jae, Why is Yunho so mean? Yunho is a saint. I hate Heechul. I love Heechul. I hate Changmin. I love Changmin.

I think people take from the story what they want...or what they bring to it.

I just love drama and angst(way too much) and in this AU...yes, because Yunho will never have so much as a hangnail in real life it makes angst easy.

The whole DBSK situation makes things super sensitive at times but I won't go and change anything because some people want to be butt hurt. If they want to stop reading more power to them and it’s fine with me. I will also admit that I was also unsettled by some of the comments and that is why I am speeding up the updates till I get chapter six posted tomorrow.

The comment about greed in this chapter was made by Jae himself. I think people get uncomfortable when they think of greed as for money alone...I think Yoochun himself made an excellent point lately of how greed can be for many things.

I try to stay away from being subjective when I can or surround it with one characters thoughts as best I can. In upcoming chapters when other characters come into play and Yunho is attacked for being cowardly and afraid of taking chances you might find it more equally distributed.

I have most of it written already and I assure you everybody gets called out for their faults or imagined faults or acts like a royal ass at times.

Thanks for your concerns though and I suffer from them myself, but I decided to share the story anyway.


Edited at 2010-11-13 08:16 pm (UTC)
hehe poor Jae & his horniness!! XD
Aah I love at the same time dread the interaction between YunJae. It keeps switching from love to hate and back! Like I said before, it seems both are at fault, though its shocking to how far Jae went to get revenge. I guess taking into account how deep their relationship was, I bet JJ felt betrayed & heartbroken after the break up. Even Yunho sleeping with a girl also adding oil into the fire!But JJ must have hurt himself more in the end from all what he did...
Its kinda sad that JJ knows he might have to leave in the end no matter what he has done after Yunhos family & Min find out..unless they find a way to settle things out.

Im gonna miss Yunjae banter if JJ is going away for a week.It made me happy that all Yunhos improvements are linked to JJ & happens while he's around <33 hehe *grins*

Thanks for the update! :)
My boys are very messed up and the love is always there, the anger just keeps surfacing.

Thanks so much for reading. I find myself in the difficult position of wanting to reply to all of you...but I am finding it very hard not to spoil! I am too talkative today.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting!
Ohmygod, I can't believe I just found your fic today. YOUR FIC IS AMAZING. God, I love it so much and sometime's the reality of it is a little too close to home for me to not look away. I can't express how much your fic touches me, makes me laugh, makes me sad, and makes me hope. A;SLDKFJA;LSDKFJA;LSDKFA;SLDFJ THIS IS AMAZING. I'll be waiting for all your updates ♥
Gosh, you are sweet!

Thanks so much for your kind words! I am glad you enjoy it! I will be updating again real soon!

Thanks bunches for reading and commenting!
wah an update!! I did a little squee in my chair when I saw it, lol

Okay, so this makes me want answers even more xD The yunjae relationship is really complicated, and I don't think that just love will make everything ok again. Jae seemed to have been really angry at yunho if he was willing to destroy DBSK and try to take Changmin along with them, leaving yunho alone. I wonder what happened to make that happen and what happened afterwards, it looks like jae had a lot of flings and such. But I am happy that min stayed with yunho, and I can't blame him for having a crush on jae xP I don't think jae realizes just the amount of hate that changmin had for him, and I think he still believes that everything will work out in the end, but it won't be that easy. I'm quite sure that jae loves yunho, but that won't be enough to fix their relationship. Their needs to be some sort of trust there, and absolutely no secrets. He knows that yunho depends on him, and I don't like how he comes and goes when he pleases, it's sort of messing with yunho and his feelings. And the situation yun is in is sort of unfair, it's inevitable that he'll lean on jaejoong. Both of them aren't really making te situation any better, and yunho's resolve isnt really working. All of them just need to come together and fess up on all the things that happened in the past and tell each other what's currently happening in the present.

Lol while I was reading this I was thinking would jae really try to get it on with a handicapped person who can't even move one side of his body?? xD Ah, but at least he came to his senses. And on a brighter note, yay yunho's recovering! He seems to get better each and every day :D I hope he's able to keep his long hair, I love him with long hair, so I'll do whatever it takes to keep that evil haircut lady away from him! :P And I'm looking forward to when Maggie makes a reappearance, along with the suju boys~
I loved Yunho's long hair too......gosh how I loved it. I called it his lion look. Damn he was fine it.

I love reading your speculation so much! Evil haircut lady indeed!LOL

Thanks bunches for always leaving awesome comments!