Damaged, Chapter 37

Title: Damaged
Author: aquariuslover
Pairing: Yunjae
Rating: R
Genre: Future AU, Drama, Angst

Summary: On a cold winter’s day he cast their love away for the sake of his family. The following autumn an act of vengeance left their love beyond the reaches of forgiveness. Two summers later a fan’s anger and the ultimate act of self-sacrifice would redefine everything they knew about love, pride, selfishness, and forgiveness.

Special thanks to Amy and Kinmotsu for all they do! Huge thanks to the wonderful people who take the time to comment on this story.

Previous Chapters

“Your birthday dinner is Fish Surprise!” a very excited Donghae told Yunho as he headed out of the kitchen of the Super Junior dorm toward the living area.

“Fish?” Yunho questioned from the recliner in the living area where he sat with Heechul, Kyuhyun, and Eunhyuk.

“It’s completely delicious,” Eunhyuk added from his spot on the couch.

“A Cho family original,” Kyuhyun told them proudly.

“Made by the prettiest Cho of all,” Heechul mumbled under his breath, and immediately got elbowed by Kyuhyun and Eunhyuk who sat on either side of him on the couch.

Yunho smiled overhearing them. “So Ryeowook knows how to cook it?”

“My family decided to bestow our family recipes on the lesser people of the countryside. Some things are too good not to be shared with the common folk,” Kyuhyun explained cockily.

“Common folk?” Ryeowook repeated from the kitchen entry way looking amused. “Get your royal pompous ass up and help me.”

“Yes, mere peasant,” Kyuhyun said as he got up without a fight.

“I will make you think peasant,” Ryeowook warned Kyuhyun as the other man bounced into the kitchen, eager to help.

Yunho watched them disappear into the kitchen with a huge smile on his face. He realized that now that he was such a huge shareholder of SM he could help protect them in the future if the need ever arose.

“What are you thinking about?” Heechul asked from his spot on the couch, sensing that Yunho was thinking secretive thoughts.

Yunho turned to face him. “Oh, I was just thinking about the SM meeting that I attended earlier.”

“And that made you smile?” Donghae asked, as he took the spot on the couch where Kyuhyun had been sitting. Donghae couldn’t imagine one of those meetings making anybody smile.

Heechul watched Yunho suspiciously. “Why did you even go to that meeting? Couldn’t you have had your toenails ripped off instead…you know something more pleasant?”

Yunho carefully judged Heechul’s attentiveness and told him, “As a stock holder I think it is important that I voice my concerns. You all own stock now too. You should all come to the next one.”

“We should?” Donghae said, frowning. “I think I will let you voice my concerns for me.”

“I might go to the next one. You are right, we should play a more active role. Let our voices be heard,” Eunhyuk agreed.

“It still seems fishy to me that you are suddenly going to meetings. You never went before,” Heechul said, still watching Yunho instinctively knowing the man was withholding information from him.

“Before I thought I could dance forever. I do a lot of things now that I never did before,” Yunho told Heechul quickly and then added, “it doesn’t smell like fish.”

“That’s the surprise,” Eunhyuk and Donghae both told him at the same time making each other laugh.

“So where is Changmin tonight?” Kyuhyun asked as he walked back into the room.

“They have him preparing for tomorrow night. I think it’s going to be an all nighter, so I will be minus Changmin tonight,” Yunho told them.

“Your birthday tribute is going to be awesome. We finished our last practice earlier today,” Kyuhyun added with a pleased smile.

“The girls were practicing when we left…you’re a lucky man,” Eunhyuk whistled and told him with an envious grin.

“If you want to give me some hints about tomorrow night, feel free to inform me so I won’t be too surprised,” Yunho asked. His big birthday celebration that was going to be aired on live television tomorrow night and was a well kept secret from him.

“So Changmin hasn’t spilt any of it to you?” Kyuhyun asked with a grin, admiring Changmin’s ability to keep Yunho out of the loop.

“Not a word from Changmin. I almost got Taemin to confess all to me earlier, but Key showed up and dragged him off,” Yunho answered.

“Changmin’s leaving you home alone?” Donghae asked, still stuck on Yunho being alone in his condition. “Should you be staying alone? You want to stay with us tonight?”

“That’s nice of you to offer, but I will be okay,” Yunho promised him, trying his best to not go into further detail.

“We just insist you stay with us,” Heechul told him with a concerned voice but the evil glint in his eyes let Yunho know he was on to him. “It’s settled you will stay with us tonight. You can’t be alone on your birthday.”

“Heechul…” Yunho started to protest when there was a knock on the door. Donghae got up quickly from the couch and went to answer the door.

Donghae opened the door with a warm smile that quickly faded as he found Jae standing outside the door. Jae hurried past Donghae but not before telling him, “don’t look so happy to see me, gumdrop.”

“Jae, what are you doing here? You were not supposed to be here till later?” Yunho asked, shocked from his spot on the recliner, as Jae hurried into the room and approached him.

“I missed you,” Jae told him as he suddenly straddled Yunho in the recliner and placed a firm lip lock on him.

“Oh, crap…” Kyuhyun groaned uncomfortably as he looked at Donghae who was even oblivious to his and Ryeowook’s relationship.

Eunhyuk from his seat on the couch watched shocked as neither Jae nor Yunho came up for air after several minutes passed. Jae was wearing a black tank top with a loose fitting, blue jacket over it and both of Yunho’s hands were under the jacket running up and down Jae’s back. “I got to go check my e-mail,” Eunhyuk declared quickly, getting up and practically running from the room.

Ryeowook was suddenly beside Kyuhyun and whispered, “that’s hot.’

Kyuhyun turned to glare at Ryeowook who was watching Yunho and Jae intensely. “Think of poor Donghae. He’s being traumatized,” Kyuhyun said, pointing to their most innocent member who was watching Yunho and Jae with obvious disgust. “Yunho doesn’t even follow his own rules!”

“Where’s my phone at dammit? You know how much this shit would sell for on the net?” Heechul declared, searching his pockets for his phone.

Yunho and Jae broke apart instantly both turning to glare at Heechul. “Listen here you asexual prude, get your jollies somewhere else,” Jae told him as he tried to catch his breath.

“A man has to make a profit where he can,” Heechul explained with a wicked grin.

“Heechul, I swear,” Yunho complained to Heechul, as Jae collapsed into him still recovering from his mad rush to get to the Super Junior dorm and find Yunho.

“Yunho, I expect more discretion from you. Of course his Royal Bitchiness doesn’t care if he horrifies my poor, innocent members,” Heechul told Yunho in a disapproving tone as he pointed to the other members in the room.

“Oh, God…Donghae,” Yunho said, giving his old friend an apologetic look and added, “Kyuhyun, Ryeowook, and Eun…”

“Eunhyuk already fled from the scene,” Heechul snapped at him while he watched Donghae closely.

Jae lifted up his head from where it was buried in Yunho’s chest and sneered at Heechul. “Fuck you. Everybody in this dorm knows. Junsu used to call and bitch about us to Eunhyuk all the damn time.”

Heechul eyes narrowed in on Donghae who wasn’t acting surprised at all. “And Donghae…”

“I’ve known for years,” Donghae replied as he sat down next to Heechul.

“For years?” Heechul and Yunho both said in disbelief.

“Yep, years. Jae was kind enough to inform me years ago,” Donghae explained, his expression indicated that Jae had been anything but kind.

“Awe,” Ryeowook exclaimed, “You mean where he kindly asks you what your intentions are toward his Yunho and lets it be known that you cannot even comprehend the hell that will be unleashed on you if you so much as look at Yunho wrong? I totally had one of those talks too.”

“Jae!” Yunho griped, pushing the other man off of him.

“I’m sorry,” Donghae said, not wishing that talk on anybody. “He was actually peeling an apple when he informed me…peeling that apple with a very large knife.”

“Mine wasn’t that bad,” Ryeowook said, wincing for Donghae not able to imagine what it must have been like for Donghae if Jae had felt really threatened.

Jae sat down on the couch by Heechul who was cackling in delight. “I wasn’t going to stab him. I was just peeling an apple.”

Yunho turned to Jae is disbelief. “I cannot believe you!”

“What? It was like eight years ago. No, reason to get huffy now,” Jae told Yunho, and then turned to snarl at Heechul who could not control his laughter.

Kyuhyun couldn’t stop staring at Donghae. “You knew they were gay for eight years and you never said anything?”

Donghae nodded his head. “It’s not my secret to tell.”

“I didn’t even know he knew,” Yunho proclaimed in wonder.

“I figured if you wanted me to know…you would have told me yourself,” Donghae explained, causing both of Ryeowook and Kyuhyun to look extremely guilty.

“Would you stop!” Jae demanded of Heechul, who continued to laugh like a hyena.

“I am sorry, your psychosis never fails to amuse me,” Heechul managed to get out, trying to control his laughter.

“Donghae, can we go to your room and talk?” Yunho asked.

“Sure,” Donghae agreed.

“Thanks,” Yunho said, as he grabbed his cane and got up from the chair.

“Why…” Jae started getting up from the couch to follow them.

“You stay here,” Yunho snapped at Jae, pointing to the couch. “I apparently have year’s worth of apologies to make on your behalf.” Jae bit his bottom lip and glared at Yunho as he and Donghae disappeared down the hallway.

“You better not burn dinner,” Kyuhyun told Ryeowook as he dragged the other man into the kitchen.

“Do you think Donghae knows about us?” Ryeowook whispered to Kyuhyun, still shocked at the other man’s admission regarding Yunho and Jae.

“Who knows? He never even told Yunho and he knew for eight years. What if he is just waiting for us to trust him?” Kyuhyun asked, following Ryeowook around the kitchen.

“God, I would feel so bad,” Ryeowook told him as he lifted the lid to one of the many pans on the stove and started stirring.

“I feel like a jerk.”

“Me too. We have to tell him now. I mean we thought he couldn’t keep a secret…and boy were we wrong,” Ryeowook said as he continued to stir the food.

“Jae has some balls though, doesn’t he? He just doesn’t like give a shit,” Kyuhyun said in admiration. He could never imagine going up to Ryeowook and kissing him like that in a room full of people.

“He’s crazy,” Ryeowook said, putting the lid back on the pan as he opened the oven to check the food inside of it baking.

“I thought you liked Jae. You are always defending him,” Kyuhyun said as he rubbed Ryeowook on the ass as the other man bent over checking the food in the oven.

“Stop it,” Ryeowook warned Kyuhyun, who had both hands on his ass now.

“Jae wouldn’t stop it though…I thought he was totally going to have sex with Yunho in that chair,” Kyuhyun said with his hands still on Ryeowook’s ass.

Ryeowook stood up and brushed Kyuhyun’s hands off him. “Having flashbacks of that slutty dance you did with him at the SM Concert all those years ago?”

“No, I just admire his moxie.”

“It’s called crazy.”

“You used to like him. How many times have you defended him from Heechul?”

“I do like him. Doesn’t mean I don’t know he’s crazy.”

“He’s crazy for Yunho,” Kyuhyun couldn’t help but agree.

“Yeah, but he isn’t discreet at all. You need to go back out there. I wouldn’t trust him with our secret. You have spent too much time with Yunho and Changmin it might set him off if he knew what direction you swayed.”

Kyuhyun daringly pulled Ryeowook to him and placed a quick kiss on his lips. “I only sway your way.”

“Go,” Ryeowook chuckled as he pushed Kyuhyun out of the kitchen.


“So Jae, had any good plastic surgery lately?” Heechul asked with a smirk and devious eyes.

Jae turned to look at the man sitting beside him on the couch, instantly on guard. “No, my beauty is as natural as yours is.”

Kyuhyun, who was sitting in the recliner that Yunho has abandoned earlier, groaned. Eunhyuk, who was sitting on the other side of Heechul on the couch, scooted farther away from him.

Heechul licked his lips. “Really? So no touch ups lately? Those Japanese news channels are always spreading rumors.”

Jae hissed. “Yes, don’t they? Like I said, my face is as natural as yours is.”

“Natural? I thought it was miracles of sheep placentas,” Heechul told him with a huge smile. Eunhyuk got up from the couch and hurried into the kitchen before they started throwing things.

“Are you interested in some make-up Heechul? I can hook you up,” Jae told him, peering closely into Heechul’s face. “Come to think of it, you could benefit from lots of foundation…the thicker the better.”

“Well I am not certain if I trust in your product. You have been using it for years and only recently have I seen any improvement in your appearance….you know your haggard look was prominent for a long time. I heard your fans even airbrushed your airport pictures. Such loyal fans you have.”

“Haggard? Why you…”

“Now, now, no need to get upset. One couldn’t blame you if you went for a little nip and tuck,” Heechul said, still smiling at the man. “Or maybe Changmin knocking you in the face did you some good.”

Jae smiled back at him. “It might have, perhaps you should ask him to do the same for you…it could only help.”

“See, I knew it wasn’t just sheep placenta.”

Donghae walked back into the room alone and Jae’s attention was immediately diverted. “Where is Yunho?”

“He had to use the bathroom,” Donghae explained, taking a seat next to Heechul.

Jae’s eyes lit up in delight as he leaned in dangerously close to Heechul and whispered, “I will let you in on a secret. The real secret of my beauty is Yunho’s come, but you have to orally ingest it directly from the source or absorb it rectally…two things you will never have the pleasure of experiencing.”

Heechul’s mouth dropped open as Jae jumped up from the couch and went in search of Yunho.


Yunho was washing his hands when there was a knock on the bathroom door. “Just a minute,” Yunho told them as he dried his hands off and opened the door to find Jae standing outside the door with a very familiar look in his eyes.

“No…no…no,” Yunho told him as the other man pushed him back into the bathroom and locked the door behind him.

“Yes…yes…yes,” Jae said, jumping on to the bathroom counter top.

“This isn’t appropriate,” Yunho warned as Jae pulled him close. Jae wrapped his legs around Yunho’s waist and started to unbutton the other man’s pants.

“How is wishing you…the person I love most in the world a proper happy birthday not appropriate?” Jae asked as he pushed Yunho’s pants down to his knees and took Yunho’s cock into his hand and started stroking it.

“We are guests! This is rude and disrespectful…Jae,” Yunho moaned as Jae easily got him hard and then pulled a tube of lube from his jacket’s pocket.

“I need you to fuck me. I really need it,” Jae said, pulling Yunho in for a kiss while at the same time he unbuttoned his own jeans. “I drew your beautiful hands today on television and now I want your fingers to get busy prepping me,” Jae said grabbing Yunho’s hand, preparing to pour lube onto it.

Yunho jerked his hand away. “When we get home. You know I can’t risk doing it while standing up…and especially not here. What if my leg gave out? What if I fell? They would all run in here.”

“Then on the floor,” Jae said, getting off the counter. “Or you could sit on the toilet. I just need you inside me. I don’t care where we do it. I just need it badly.”

“I am not doing it on the toilet with you,” Yunho said, squinting in dislike. “That’s disgusting.”

Jae rolled his eyes as he grabbed Yunho’s hands that were trying to pull his pants up over his erect penis. “You sit on one all the time.”

“So not the same!” Yunho said, fighting Jae as he tried to pull up his pants while Jae tried to pull them down.

“You drive me nuts sometimes! You can’t go out there like this. You sit on the counter and I’ll take care of it,” Jae told him, as he pushed the other man up against the counter.

“Jae, you don’t have to. I know you…”

“Hush,” Jae said as he pulled Yunho’s pants out of the way as the other man sat on the counter.

“They all know what we are doing. I can’t…” Yunho stopped. Yunho bit his bottom lip to keep from moaning out as Jae bent down and kissed the tip of Yunho’s cock with soft lips and then licked the slit with the tip of his tongue before closing his lips around his cock.


“I can’t believe they are having sex in the bathroom. When I came out to Yunho he gave me all these warnings. Not once did he say it was okay to go over to a friend’s house and have sex in the bathroom,” Kyuhyun ranted in a hushed tone to Heechul.

“Jealous?” Heechul asked, amused at the ranting maknae.

“Yes! If anybody gets to have sex in the bathroom of this dorm it should be me,” Kyuhyun complained, puffing his cheeks out pouting.

“Don’t be angry with Yunho…can you imagine keeping that she beast off of you?” Heechul said, eyeing the hallway waiting for Jae and Yunho to emerge.

“No, I really can’t. I once danced with him…”

“Yes, Kyuhyun we all know you once did a dirty dance with Jae. How you managed to hide the fact that you’re a queer bunny from him I will never know,” Heechul interrupted, exasperated at the younger man.

“I wasn’t then!” Kyuhyun denied vehemently.

“Wasn’t what?” Yunho asked, walking back into the room and sitting down beside Heechul. Jae who was following closely behind Yunho headed toward the kitchen.

“He wasn’t rudely having sex in the bathroom, while his hosts sat awkwardly in the living room waiting for him to finish,” Heechul told Yunho ruthlessly.

Yunho opened his mouth but was unable to deny it. “It wasn’t exactly…sorry.”

“Little quick wasn’t it?” Heechul asked with a single raised eyebrow. “I always expected more from you.”


“How long, ‘till this is done?” Jae demanded as he walked into the kitchen where Ryeowook was mixing a batter in a bowl.

“In about thirty minutes,” Ryeowook answered as he watched Jae frown.

“Can’t you burn it?”

“Burn it?”

“I really need to get Yunho home. So what would it take for you to burn dinner?” Jae asked with a big smile on his face.

“This is Yunho Hyung’s birthday dinner. I am not burning it.” Ryeowook replied back to Jae, shocked.

“God! I need your precious Yunho Hyung home with me. Believe me, he won’t hold it against you. There has got to be something I can do for you in exchange for you burning this.”

Ryeowook took a step back toward the stove protectively, fearful that Jae might turn the heat up. “No, there isn’t anything.”

“Don’t you want a little more popularity? I can make completely, talentless people popular just by saying I am their friend. Imagine what I could do for you…you who can actually sing,” Jae said, attempting to bribe the younger man.

“That would…” Ryeowook stalled and seemed to be considering it for a minute.

“What do you say?” Jae said, folding his arms with a confident grin on his face.

Ryeowook took a deep breath and pointed toward the living. “No, now get out of my kitchen.”

“Freaking goody two shoes,” Jae muttered as he gave Ryeowook a look full of contempt and heading back to the living room.

Jae walked back into the living room to find Yunho and Heechul on the couch and Kyuhyun sitting in the recliner.

“I sent them on an alcohol run so they wouldn’t be exposed to your debauchery,” Heechul was telling Yunho.

“Thank God, I need a stiff drink,” Jae said standing beside the recliner, watching Heechul and Yunho on the couch together and not liking it.

“You know I can’t drink right?” Yunho asked the man sitting beside him.

“Well, Donghae and Eunhyuk don’t drink either so I am sure they will bring us back grape juice,” Heechul admitted.

Jae frowned and then looked down to Kyuhyun who was sitting in the recliner chuckling at Heechul. Kyuhyun drank so why didn’t he go on the alcohol run? Why was it okay for him to be here and be exposed to their debauchery and not Donghae and Eunhyuk? Why? “Why didn’t you go with them, church boy?”

Heechul’s eyes widened as he sensed danger as he saw Jae studying Kyuhyun intently. “Yunho, I have a crick in my back, can you rub it for me?”

“I sure can,” Yunho said quickly, also sensing the danger that young Kyuhyun was in.

Jae’s eyes immediately flew to the couch where Heechul had his back to Yunho, showing him where to rub his back. “I know you do not think my man…if you need to be fucking massaged I will do it.”

“I don’t think so, Yunho has manly hands I am sure he will fix the problem in no time,” Heechul said, hiding a smile from Jae as his plan worked perfectly.

Jae snatched Yunho’s hand away from Heechul’s back. “Not really, the right side is weak and I would hate for him to hurt his hand massaging your scrawny, boney back.”

“I am not going to hurt my hand,” Yunho told Jae, acting annoyed. Kyuhyun got up quickly and headed toward the kitchen.

“Well we are not going to find out,” Jae said, squeezing in between the two men to sit on the couch.

“I have never in my life encountered anybody as jealous as you,” Heechul told Jae as he scooted away from the man.

“Like that has ever been a secret. I…” Jae stopped, turning his gaze back to the empty recliner quickly. “Did you two just play me?”

“I don’t…” Yunho began.

“You did! He’s gay!” Jae proclaimed, full of excitement. “I am such an idiot for not noticing this earlier.”

“Just shut up!” Heechul snapped.

“He’s with the little one in the kitchen, isn’t he?” Jae said laughing as he leaned back into the couch. “So much is suddenly clear now.”

“Jae, this isn’t something to be laughing about. They have hid this from a lot of people for a very long time. The members of Super Junior that are in the army now have no idea. Not even Donghae,” Yunho said, grabbing Jae’s hand.

“Oh, relax! I am not going to tell anybody. Anyone who wants to fool SM has my complete support,” Jae told Yunho, squeezing his hand. “Their secret is safe with me…well as long as you never break-up with me again.”

“Jae!” Yunho told Jae with a frown.

“Wrong answer,” Jae growled at Yunho. “You are supposed to say that there is no fear of that ever happening so their secret is forever safe.’

Yunho smiled at Jae and told him, “Of course I would never break-up with you again, Silly.”

“Good Man,” Jae said, leaning over and planting a kiss on Yunho’s cheek.

Heechul fought down the urge to hurl and told them, “Because God knows what you would do to him if he ever dumped your ass again. Sleep with his dad, sleep with Changmin, sleep with his sister, sleep with….” Heechul stopped when Jae lunged at him.

“You two stop!” Yunho ordered as he tried to pull Jae off Heechul.


Jae awoke the next morning clinging to Yunho’s side. Jae cursed his vanity that prevented him from sleeping any longer. He moved reluctantly to the side of the bed, very careful not to awaken the sleeping man beside him. He knew that a happily, sexually satisfied Yunho had at least two more hours of sleep in him before he started to stir. Which was a good thing because Yunho was going to be the center of attention at his big birthday bash tonight, his first official return to the public eye.

Jae slid out of bed and stretched. He went through Yunho’s drawers instead of his own bag for clothes to wear. He would always wear Yunho’s clothes if given a chance. He walked into the bathroom that connected to the bedroom and took off his tight fitting t-shirt that he had worn the night before and turned around so he could see his back in the mirror. The tattoos that had become the annoyance of his existence were slowly starting to fade.

“Three more treatments and they should be gone,” Jae said quietly to himself, glad to be rid of the hindrance. Yunho had no idea that Jae was having them removed, but what did he expect? Jae was sick of wearing a damn shirt while having sex, even while having shower sex. Yunho had never asked him to wear a shirt after that first night but he had never removed it either. Yunho had ripped a couple of shirts in his eagerness but he had never removed one completely. Jae didn’t blame Yunho for his dislike of his tattoos. Jae knew for a certainty he would never have allowed Yunho to mark his body with another person’s name.

Jae turned on the shower and got inside. He had some research to do and he would rather not do it smelling like sex. It was Yunho’s birthday and he wouldn’t be surprised if there was soon a brigade of visitors. Visitors he would happily send away, because Yunho was not going to awaken for at least two more hours and then it would be Jae waking him up. Jae smiled as he thought of exactly how he was going to wake up the man.

Jae finished, got out of the shower, toweled himself off and slipped on some clothes. Jae looked at his reflection in the mirror and smiled. He truly was a handsome man, well actually the word handsome didn’t even begin to describe his amazing looks, he thought to himself. Jae walked back into the bedroom, grabbed Yunho’s phone and flipped it open and bypassed the password easily.

He looked through the birthday messages and smiled at the massive amounts of messages Yunho had received. Ji-Hye once again won the battle to be number one which made Jae smile. Some of the messages were from people that Jae did not approve of and he was tempted to delete their messages, but others warmed his heart. It was such a relief to see Junsu on the list of names, but where was Yoochun’s name? Did Yunho even have Yoochun’s number? No, he wouldn’t because Jae had not given it to him. Jae frowned, chastising himsef he was not doing his part for group unity.

Jae sat the phone down and headed over to Yunho’s desk and turned on his computer. The computer opened, showing a page of SM stock reports and what appeared to be articles on expansion…Jae frowned and clicked them off. Why Yunho bothered with such things he didn’t know. Jae had more pressing matters to attend to. What horrible rumors were being spread about him because of that dumbass anchor?

Time passed quickly as Jae browsed through hundreds of blogs and sites, very pleased to find his fans were rightfully annoyed on his behalf. Then he logged on Twitter knowing it was the first time Yunho’s computer had ever gone to such a site. He found Heechul and followed him out of spite knowing now that Heechul would be forced to follow him back or lose face. He wasn’t surprised to see that many celebrities had wished Yunho a happy birthday, including all of the active Super Junior members. Donghae had even posted a picture of the Ryeowook, Kyuhyun, Eunhyuk, him and Heechul all with Yunho. When had they done that? It must have been before his arrival, he thought.

Jae was not pleased at all when he read some fan’s remarks pointing out how Jae or none of the other members had wished Yunho a happy birthday, proving once again they were not as close as the fans were being led to believe. “Insane bitches,” Jae mumbled softly as he fought the urge to take a picture of sleeping Yunho and post it to Twitter. How many times had he been filmed coming and going from the hospital to see Yunho? Had JYJ themselves not just proclaimed on Japanese television yesterday that all was fine between them?

It wasn’t truly fine though, Jae had to admit. Yunho and Junsu’s newly reacquainted friendship had not been tested since that fateful meeting at Maggie’s house. Yoochun had not been in the same room with Yunho in over three years. He knew he had to get them together but Yunho and his relationship was still so new and they had so little time together…time he didn’t want to share.

A knock on the door disturbed Jae from his thoughts as he jerked to attention instantly and turned to the man still sleeping on the bed. Jae watched as Yunho rolled over not waking from his sleep. Jae hurried out of the bedroom shutting the door behind him. He hurried to the door looking around the apartment for any sign that Changmin had returned. He didn’t see any.

Jae reached the door and looked at the keypad screen and saw Minho of SHINee. Jae frowned. He had not been close to any member of SHINee since he left SM. He had always made himself scarce as they visited Yunho in the hospital. These boys were important to Yunho and Changmin though Jae had to admit as he opened the door.

Minho’s smile didn’t falter when he saw Jae at the door. “Good Morning, Jaejoong Hyung.”

“Good Morning,” Jae told the younger man, as he walked through the door with a box full of pastries from a very expensive shop that Jae never visited. Jae imagined that one could become fatter from just entering that shop.

“I brought Yunho Hyung his favorite pastries for his birthday breakfast,” Minho explained as he walked to the table and sat the pastries on the table.

“His favorite?” Jae asked as he opened the lid and examined the pastries. “This would explain some of the chunk he used to carry around on him.”

Minho laughed. “He really loved them though.”

“I am sure he did. I think I am gaining weight from just looking at them,” Jae said, eyeing them hungrily.

“You should eat one then if you are going to gain weight anyway?” Minho told him, looking around the apartment.

“I agree with your logic, but first I have to make some coffee,” Jae said, walking away from the table to the kitchen.

“Is Yunho Hyung still sleeping?”

Jae looked at the clock on the wall and noted the time. “He should be waking up soon. I can wake him for you in a minute as soon as I put this coffee on.”

“No, no. He should sleep, he has a big night tonight. I need to get back for the last run through,” Minho explained.

“Oh, he has slept plenty,” Jae said as he studied the younger man who seemed to think nothing of finding Jae in the apartment. “Changmin was very busy last night so I assumed the babysitting duties.”

Minho laughed at this. “Changmin must trust you so much now to allow you to watch Yunho Hyung.”

Jae’s eyes widened slightly as he waited for the coffee maker to finish with the coffee. “Yes, he must.”

“I am so glad. It used to be so hard keeping up with all his rul…” Minho trailed off quickly. “I think I shall have one too,” Minho told him, grabbing a pastry from the box.

“I know all about Changmin’s rules,” Jae said, laughing at the other man’s obvious discomfort.

“Oh, that’s good,” Minho said, relieved.

“I can only imagine how stressful…” Jae stopped talking as a huge smile broke out on his face as Yunho walked into the kitchen.

“Dongsaeng, you little squirt! What are you doing here?” Yunho said as he approached the younger man.

Minho stood up instantly and met Yunho for a tight embrace. “I came to wish my favorite Hyung happy birthday and to bring gifts!”

“Favorite Hyung? Favorite one in the room maybe,” Yunho told him, laughing as he gave the boy a bear hug.

“Hyung!” Minho said, smiling at being caught.

“Oh, you didn’t,” Yunho said, letting go of Minho and sitting down in front of the box of pastries.

“I did,” Minho told him smiling.

“This is why you are my favorite dongsaeng,” Yunho told him, grabbing a pastry.

“Your favorite one in the room,” Minho repeated back to him, causing Yunho to smile up at him.

“Speaking of my wayward child, is he back?” Yunho asked, looking around the apartment.

“I haven’t seen any evidence of him this morning. If he came in he didn’t wake me up while I was sleeping on the couch,” Jae lied for Minho’s benefit, as he sat back down at the table handing Yunho a cup of coffee.

“Well maybe he was feeling uncharacteristically kind when he came in. Minho, go bang on his door and wake him if he’s in there,” Yunho told the younger man, who immediately flew up to do his Hyung’s bidding. Yunho looked at Jae and grinned. “I hope the couch wasn’t too uncomfortable.”

“Oh, I have no complaints,” Jae told him as he sipped on his coffee.

“He isn’t in there,” Minho said, walking back into the kitchen. “I bet he stayed up all night preparing. He’s nervous about singing tonight.”

Yunho turned quickly to stare at Minho. “Is he singing ‘Sacrifice’ tonight?’”

“Yep,” Minho told him, nodding his head.

“Great, so I will be bawling on national television tonight. I think I will eat all of these now,” Yunho said, grabbing another pastry.

“We will all be bawling with you,” Minho told him, patting Yunho’s back.

“Sacrifice?” Jae asked, watching them.

“The song Changmin dedicated to Yunho Hyung, when he thought…”

“When he thought I had basically died for him,” Yunho explained, interrupting.

“Ouch,” Jae replied. He would never forget how Changmin was after Yunho got shot. Jae had been too consumed with his own grief to be any help to Changmin but he had not missed how destroyed Changmin was.

“Hyungs, I have to go. The manager is on his way to drag me out,” Minho said after looking at a text he had received.

“Thank you for breakfast! See you tonight, kiddo,” Yunho told him with a warm smile as the boy hurried toward the door.

“Bye,” Jae told him as the door closed behind Minho.

“I am so proud of you. You were so civil to him,” Yunho snorted and told him, as he ate his second pastry.

“I know!” Jae said smiling in agreement. “I didn’t threaten or scare him once.”


“Yoochun and Junsu have a theory.”

“Do I want to know?”

“Of course you do. It seems my mood has to do directly with you and being with you.”

Yunho laughed at him. “You were with me last night at the Super Junior dorm and you were ornery as hell.”

Jae got up from the chair and walked over to Yunho and took the coffee from Yunho’s hands. “I think you misunderstood me,” Jae said when he straddled the other man in the chair facing him. “When I said with you.”
“Oh…” Yunho said knowingly as he wrapped his arms around Jae.

“Yes, and apparently after I am with you my good mood lasts for days, but when it starts to fade…it’s not pretty,” Jae said, leaning down for a kiss.


“Bastards, they cut his hair,” Jae said glaring at the television, as the camera did a close up of Yunho in the audience while Changmin sang his song dedicated to Yunho.

“Poor Changmin…can you even imagine how he must have felt? I just can’t…” Junsu trailed off wiping tears away from his face with both hands.

“It’s a beautiful song though. When did Changmin learn to write like this?” Yoochun asked, not bothering to wipe his tears away as he sat by Junsu. As he listened to his old friend sing of an unbearable sadness.

“You know I could have written a sad, sappy song too, but I was too busy making sure nobody unplugged anything…like a ventilator,” Jae grumbled as he sat on the couch with his other two members in the break room at the studio where they were supposed to be recording.

“We should have gone,” Junsu declared, recovering his speech.

Yoochun turned to look at the younger man. “We weren’t invited.”

Junsu pointed to Jae. “Since when does that stop him?”

“True,” Yoochun said, looking to the older member sitting next to him. “Why didn’t you go?”

“Because this tribute is for Yunho and if we showed up it would be about our relationship with him. Yunho and I agreed to live ‘separate lives’ in public,” Jae explained during the commercial.

“That’s stupid. We can be friends publicly now. It’s stupid not to be,” Junsu complained as he grabbed a pillow and hugged it tightly.

“Yeah!” Yoochun agreed. “You should arrange for all five of us to get together.”

Jae sighed. “I know. It hasn’t been that long. Just give me more time.”

“I’m serious, Jae. You can spare a couple hours of your sexy times to fix something that has been broken for way too long,” Yoochun told him, wrapping an arm around the older man.

“I suppose…” Jae stopped as the tribute started again and Yunho was sitting in the middle of the stage in a white suit looking amazing while music started playing.

Yoochun’s mouth fell open as the members of SNSD came out singing of holding out for a hero and danced around him wearing very flimsy red, sequined, strapless dresses. “Fuck. I had a dream about this once but they were all naked.”

Junsu’s eyes were glued on Taeyeon as she sang of a white knight on a fiery steed and danced seductively around Yunho. “Do you think those two ever had revenge sex?”

“Most definitely,” Yoochun said, licking his lips. “Fuckers!” Yoochun screamed as both Junsu and Jae elbowed him in the gut.
  • Current Music: Figured You Out, Nickelback
Jae’s eyes lit up in delight as he leaned in dangerously close to Heechul and whispered, “I will let you in on a secret. The real secret of my beauty is Yunho’s come, but you have to orally ingest it directly from the source or absorb it rectally…two things you will never have the pleasure of experiencing.”

ROFLMFAO!!! OMFG That had to be one of the best, if not THE best, lines of the whole chapter!! Oh my gawd, I died laughing! Aahh my fingers were itching to text Sara!!! But she's not feeling well, so I didn't. :( *mourns* My poor JJ bestie is sickie right now~ She doesn't even have the strength to stay up long enough to read this chapter! Waaahh! How she ever got this spot is beyond me! She's just that fabulous, ne? :D Actually, she already told me how she got it, but still! She's awesome like that~ xD

Anywho~ That last little bit with JYJ watching Yun's bday tribute was friggin funny, too! hehehe~ Chunnie...*shakes head*...honestly, you should've seen those bruised ribs coming! kekeke!

And omg Heechul! Oh man, he kills me! He's so ruthless! Really matches Jae well in that aspect! They can both be down right cut throat! LOL Sometimes, when reading their little spats, I will find it very difficult to feel angry at Heechul for Jae! lolz He's just too damn funny! And besides, JJ bb can hold his own against Cinderella. ;P

I also loved YunJae's little makeout session on the chair! eeehehehe! What every fangirl would give to be in that room at that moment! xD I just love how Jae doesn't give two shits and goes for it. tehe~ Seems the general consensus from everyone is that Jae's crazy, though... :/ Oh well~ When you look the way he does, you get away with lots of things! At least, he would with me! kekeke xD

Awesome update! Keep em comin~ This one seemed to take longer, but I know it's only cuz you spoiled us with all the other ones coming as quickly as they did. :/ But I can't help but to be selfish! *pouts* <3
LMAO! This chapter was hilarious! Oh man if I haven't said this before I will say now I LOVE KIM FUCKING HEECHUL! I love his interaction with Jae they are both such spiteful prima donna's, it's like one touch...the verbal edition! LOVE IT!!!!!

Still awaiting the rest of Mins confession on why he quit drinking... :P
O.O... All I can say is that LMAO forever at Jae and his threats! XD. Poor SJ guys! ;) I love the relationship (if theres any) between Jae and Heechul; epic. Har!

OMG. I don't know what chapter I like more!

Jae got up from the chair and walked over to Yunho and took the coffee from Yunho’s hands. “I think you misunderstood me,” Jae said when he straddled the other man in the chair facing him. “When I said with you.”
“Oh…” Yunho said knowingly as he wrapped his arms around Jae.

“Yes, and apparently after I am with you my good mood lasts for days, but when it starts to fade…it’s not pretty,” Jae said, leaning down for a kiss.

“Little quick wasn’t it?” Heechul asked with a single raised eyebrow. “I always expected more from you.”
Best Line
“Where’s my phone at dammit? You know how much this shit would sell for on the net?” Heechul declared, searching his pockets for his phone.
Second Best
“I will let you in on a secret. The real secret of my beauty is Yunho’s come, but you have to orally ingest it directly from the source or absorb it rectally…two things you will never have the pleasure of experiencing.”
and Third Best.
Lol, sooo many good lines in this chapter.
I love Jae in your story, he's so ridiculously crazy for Yunho and so conceited too hehehe.

I'm waiting as patiently as I can for that OT5 meeting, there needs to be one soon or at least let Yoochun and Yunho meet :)

Your updates always seem to appear when I have a big project to do but I rather read the chapter first to get me in a good mood ^^
so the secret of his beauty is yunho's cum? Lol! It's so jaaeee.. I can even imagine how heechul looks like when jae said it to him!
I'm waiting for the five to meet! I wonder about changmin's reaction would be like..
Mm.. I thought there will be something 'special' in yunho's birthday party. So the party is 'okay'?
ohmygod. i miss the bickering Jae and Heenim. haha i was surprised that Donghae knows Yunjae's relationship. :D and kyu just can't get his hands off of wookie's butt eh? bunnies. =))
technically the first post until LJ screwed with it
FINALLY! LOL i thought i'd be really pissed about not getting the first spot despite the head's up, but thankfully i've been appeased by the appearance of KW, and how sweet and cute they are here (and pouting kyuhyun! awwwwwwwwww~ i wanna squish him forever!). as always. i will never get enough of them, it seems. XP

wow. donghae. and he isn't as clueless as everybody thinks. he might even know about KW ("secret? what secret?" <-- (something like that) oh, TFAN, i shall read you again one day!). OMG, jae and a knife. nyahahahahahahahahahahaha poor donghae, eternally harrassed. XD but donghae is a gem. :)

i swear i can hear complaints about the smut scenes (that have been cut off) from where i sit. nyahahahahahahahahahahaha bathroom scenes. that gave my imagination a workout. XD LMAO~

and jae knowing about kyu and ryeowook! weeeeee~ KW is too cute for words! i see you have address ryeowook's popularity issues. tsk. my poor ryeowook. he had to consider jae's proposal even for a second there. :(

yeyeyeyeyeyey! thank you for injecting KW! I LOVE IT! <3 <3 <3 (but you already know that XD)

Re: technically the first post until LJ screwed with it
I know! LJ was plotting against you! I even cheated for you! It's the closest I will ever come to giving a spot too. lol I shall give you the heads up for chapter 43 too....and it's just the kind of chapter your dirty mind will enjoy.

Urgh, don't read TFAN again. I glanced and chapter one and cringed. I read a future chapter of DMGD and laughed hysterically...for all the wrong reasons. Delete is like my favorite key on the keyboard today.

You are the only one mentioning my hatred of smut.......thanks so much FRIEND!!! Everybody else is getting used to it or bitching about me in private. lol
*A* perfect this chap is perfect! XDD
Jae's coming to SJ's dorm and straddled then kiss YH in front of everyone is epic! XD He's the diva~
then he bickers and bantering with Chul, entertaining as always~ :D Quickie in the bathroom, Jeez JJ, horny much? I approve! LOL
Gotta say, I love MinHo in here. He's so cool and cheery just being his hyung-whore self XD I wanna see Taemin though~ :)
Morning birthday sex~ I guess YH now is much stronger in thigh department LOL
Gosh JJ gonna be livid when YH come home, being surrounded by SNSD like that in national TV O__O I am shock JJ not fuming the moment he set his eyes on the TV though~ XD
Jae is doing his part to make sure Yunho's thighs get their exercise. He is a very considerate lover.

I heart Hyung Whore Minho! I can't help but giving him guest appearances in my stories. Taemin...might show up.;)

Jae was too pissed that the hair was cut.

Thanks so much for commenting!
Aww I was hoping this episode too, and as I have always loved ♥ ♥ ♥.
God, Heechul is so funny, I like the way he always argues with Jae, two divas who i love, their personalities are so alike and different at the same time. This chapter was too exciting and fun but the phrase that takes all the awards on my part is the next "I will let you in on a secret. "The real secret of my beauty is Yunho's eat, But You Have to Orally ingest it Directly from the source or Absorbed it rectally ... Two Things You Will Never Have the pleasure of experiencing", man, Jae does not mince his words that is why I love him so much ..... jajajaa
Ah our Yunho this birthday, is so cute and cuddly as ever, and I completely agree that the five have to be met, it would be a dream come true ♥ ♥ ♥

Now he has to wait for the next update .......
thanks for giving us another chapter full of fun and madness, so continue fighting !!!!!!!!♥♥♥
Sometimes when I have to write Jae parts I have to close one eye and internally cringe.

I am glad you enjoyed my beloved Jae and Heechul! Thanks so much for reading and commenting!
HEECHUL AND JAE!!! Hahahaha they are so freaken hilarious! I love there little fights omg <3
and I love Jae and his horny-possesive-jealousness <3
The end is hilarious, love Jae and Su attacking Chun <3