Fragile Essence, Chapter Seven

Fragile Essence

Chapter Seven
Author: Aquariuslover
Pairings: Yunho, Jaejoong
Rating: R
Genre: Romance, Angst, AU
Length: Chaptered
Beta:


Summary: Jaejoong, the half Korean child nobody wanted, and Yunho, the beloved golden son of a town, form an unlikely bond; one that is forever evolving through the passing years as it is repeatedly tested by love, loss, and fire. This is part one of their story.


Author’s Note: This story is set in an alternate universe, in an imaginary town, and during an ambiguous time period. This chapter forever ruined Set Fire to the Rain’ for me. The song I was listening to while I wrote it.

Chapter List

It was dark when Yunho entered the front yard of Aunt Bessie’s house to find Jaejoong sitting on the porch swing, humming loudly. Yunho stopped and listened. Jaejoong had always hummed this tune, but whenever Yunho would ask him what it was, he would just look startled as if he didn’t even realize he was humming it.

“You are humming again,” Yunho told this best friend as he stepped onto the porch, making his presence known.

“I am?”

‘Yeah,” Yunho told him as he sat down on the swing beside him.

Jaejoong sniffled and explained, “I don’t know when I’m doing it. I don’t even know what the song is called.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I told you, you didn’t have to come. I called you in a moment of weakness…the weakness is passing,” Jaejoong told his friend as he clutched the bottom of the swing tightly.

“I know when not to believe you.”

“It’s late, you should be in bed; you have school in the morning.”

“So do you.”

“I don’t have a football game tomorrow. I can stay awake all night, you can’t.”

“Why would you stay awake all night?”

“Because…because I am so mad, but I hate that I am mad…but, dammit! I just don’t understand,” Jaejoong tried to explain. “How can she still smoke? I mean, does she like going to the hospital? Does she enjoy being on oxygen?”

Yunho frowned and reached down to pry one of Jaejoong’s hands free of the swing and held it in his own. “Mom says cigarettes are very addictive. The companies make them that way because they want to sell a lot of them. I don’t think anybody would smoke something that is going to cost them so much money over time and eventually make them sick if it wasn’t addictive.”

“I know…I know…but what about me?” Jaejoong asked. He had never dared to ask the question aloud, but now he did. What would happen to him if his aunt got sick and died? “When she feels better she starts smoking again, and then she gets sick again, and she quits, but once she feels better she starts again. What about me?”

“What about you?”

Jaejoong pulled free of Yunho and stood up, visibly shaking. “How do I leave her to go to culinary school? How can I leave her here alone? Everybody is bending over backwards to get me into that school, but I can’t leave her. She took me in when nobody else would and she is only going to get sicker. I can’t leave her.”

“Jaejoong…”

“No, it is the truth, but part of me doesn’t want to leave so it’s okay. I will just stay here and cook in your restaurant. I will help your mom with Hana and Junsu. I will just stay here. I don’t really want to leave anyway. I mean, I already know how to cook. I don’t need to go to school to learn.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do mean it. You all can go to college. You are going to be the next college football star, Laura is going up north for school, and Jennifer is also leaving the state…but...but…I will just stay.”

Yunho got up from the swing and engulfed Jaejoong in a tight hug. “You have been thinking too much. It’s our senior year. It’s supposed to be fun. You can’t worry about these things. You are not going to be alone.”

“No, Jim is going to the community college. I will still get to see Jim,” Jaejoong mumbled, his arms wrapping tightly around Yunho’s waist, his head resting against Yunho’s shoulder. His need for Yunho was increasing with every beat of his heart, reminding him of what his real fear was. Yunho would be gone, far away from him. Eight months of not being Yunho’s friend had been the worst time of his life, but he had still been able to see Yunho. But soon Yunho would be away for four years…four years…

“I am going to bed,” Jaejoong declared, pushing Yunho away. “I am fine now. I was just having a little mental breakdown. Sorry.”

Before Jaejoong could escape, Yunho grabbed his arm. “Let’s go for a run. Running always helps me clear my mind. I think it would be good for you.”

“In the dark?”

Yunho led him off the porch. “The moon is bright tonight.”

“I hate to run.”

“I know you do, but it will help,” Yunho promised as he dragged Jaejoong to the sidewalk. “It will help me sleep too, now that you have me concerned for your sanity.”

“Yunho!”

“Joking,” Yunho teased as he started to jog, pulling Jaejoong along with him. “It won’t kill you, I promise.”

“Says the athlete,” Jaejoong grumbled, trying to keep up with Yunho. “Could you jog slower?”

“If I go any slower we are going to be walking.”

“I like walking.”

“Humor me, just focus on moving. It will clear you head, I promise.”

“I am going to focus on breathing,” Jaejoong mumbled as Yunho sped up their pace. It was a lie though; Jaejoong was focused on the fact that Yunho was still holding his hand. Jaejoong grinned, loving it, even if he knew Yunho was just doing it so Jaejoong wouldn’t stop.

Jaejoong remained quiet and tried his best to keep up with Yunho. It had been midnight when Jaejoong had called the other boy after the smell of cigarette smoke had him storming into his aunt’s room. He had taken the cigarettes away from her and flushed them all down the toilet. She had been angry and defensive, but when he had asked her if she wanted to blow them both up, she had paled. She insisted she was wide awake and knew what she was doing, but he had still been so angry.

So angry that he couldn’t sleep, and he had called Yunho in a moment of weakness. He had regretted it immediately, but Yunho had already heard enough. Now, as they ran through the streets of Red Fern, Jaejoong knew he was more scared than anything. Scared of losing somebody else; hadn’t he lost enough? His grandmother had left him with his aunt and never returned. Sometimes she would talk to his aunt on the phone, but she rarely asked to speak with him. His mother had sent him exactly three Christmas cards since he had arrived to Red Fern; never with a return address on them. Just a short inscription telling him he was her angel and she always thought of him. As he gotten older he had fought the urge to take those cards and rip them to shreds.

The sound of dogs barking penetrated his thoughts and Yunho led them off the sidewalk and across the road to the park. The park was totally deserted at this time of night with only the moonlight and a few street lights illuminating their way. Jaejoong concentrated on his breathing, trying to fight off the tiredness. He thought running with Yunho was a wonderful idea after all; perhaps they should never stop running.

Jaejoong was all smiles as he imagined the two of them together hand-in-hand forever, and that’s when he tripped. He went tumbling down a little slope, pulling Yunho down with him. They rolled on the grassy grounds of the park until their momentum slowed.

“Are you alright?” Jaejoong asked through gasps of air. Yunho had ended up on top of him, and it made already difficult breathing worse.

Yunho lifted his upper body up with his arms, staring down at Jaejoong and complained, “Jaejoong, if you wanted to stop you could have just asked.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose! I tripped.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“I did!”

“Umm…hmmm.”

“You know how clumsy I am.”

“True.”

“Are you hurt? I can just imagine you breaking, twisting, or spraining something and missing the big game. The town would be after me with pitchforks.”

Through the moonlight Jaejoong could see Yunho grinning down at him. “I wouldn’t be worried about the town if I was you, I’d be worried about Jennifer. Homecoming is tomorrow, she wouldn’t need a pitchfork to eviscerate you.”

Jaejoong grinned up at Yunho. “No, she wouldn’t. She might have to end up kissing Rob or Paul. You probably wouldn’t like that either.”

Yunho’s grin faded and he slowly lifted one hand and ran it through Jaejoong’s thick locks and whispered, “It wouldn’t bother me.”

“It wouldn’t?”

“I know it should, but it wouldn’t.”

Jaejoong swallowed, and nervously explained, “It’s because you know it wouldn’t mean anything, it would be done for tradition’s sake only…it wouldn’t be like she wanted to kiss them.”

Yunho’s lowered his body against Jaejoong’s, no longer bracing himself with his hands, but instead with his elbows; his body resting against Jaejoong’s. One hand continued to run through Jaejoong’s hair, and the other came up to rest against Jaejoong’s cheek to touch it softly. “Your skin is so smooth.”

“Thanks…I…I…owe it to my…family genes…I mean…they...I inherited really nice skin from my family,” Jaejoong sputtered out, this was definitely a moment. His mind warned that he shouldn’t get his hopes up but his heart was racing. “The pictures I have seen of my mother show that she has really nice skin also, and my grandmother had nice skin even though she was old…and well, Aunt Bessie smokes and that ruins skin. I just—”

“Shhhh,” Yunho whispered, interrupting him as the hand that had been on his cheek slid down, and two fingers traced Jaejoong’s lips. “Are you scared?”

“Not…scared.”

“I’m scared.”

Jaejoong pushed his excitement down and told Yunho, “Then let’s get up.”

“You want to get up?”

“No…but I don’t want you to be scared,” Jaejoong told Yunho with wide eyes as he tried to make out his face in the moonlight.

“Fear is a very powerful...” Yunho started to say but paused as he saw headlights enter the park. He jumped off Jaejoong instantly, and stood up. “That’s a cop car. Somebody probably reported that there were hooligans running the streets.”

Jaejoong stood up bedside him as he watched the cop car enter the park. “What are we going to do?”

Yunho started walking toward the cop car. “We are going to tell him I was nervous about the game and I needed a run. I am going to ask him to give us a ride home.”

Jaejoong followed after Yunho, wondering what would have happened if the cop hadn’t arrived. Jaejoong mentally cursed the cop, because he was sure something would have happened. He knew it wasn’t just his wishful thinking; Yunho had basically told him he didn’t care for Jennifer. Yunho had told him his skin was smooth, and with that thought Jaejoong brought his own hand up to cup his cheek. No; something had happened, and as Yunho talked to the friendly cop, Jaejoong prayed like mad that it would happen again.

***********************

Jaejoong had watched from the stands earlier that evening as Yunho and Jennifer were crowned the Homecoming Queen and King. He had been sitting with the Jungs with Hana plastered to his side as Yunho bent down and kissed Jennifer for all to see. The familiar sting that Jaejoong sometimes felt when he couldn’t make himself be happy for his friends was gone, because deep down he knew this was the Yunho…that his friend was supposed to be, not the one who had been with him in the park the night before. The one that had been afraid last night; that was the real Yunho, and only he got to see that Yunho.

Yunho had acted no differently today at school; he never mentioned the moment in the park that Jaejoong’s mind could not stop focusing on. Jaejoong knew there was a very high likelihood that the other boy would never bring it up again, and to be perfectly honest, if Jaejoong brought it up Yunho could deny that anything other than friendship had passed between them. He could easily claim that he was just scared of growing up and going away to college.

Jaejoong loved Yunho so much that he knew he would never ever bring it up. He never wanted Yunho to feel like anything but the Homecoming King. He never wanted him to be scared to be with him. Jaejoong would tuck the night away as one of his best memories. Jaejoong blushed realizing how silly he was being, nothing had happened. Yunho had just traced his lips, felt of his cheek, and told him it was smooth.

Complete strangers had complimented Jaejoong on his skin before, and just because Yunho didn’t care who Jennifer kissed, it didn’t mean that Yunho wanted to kiss him. Jaejoong knew if Yunho had wanted to kiss Jaejoong the perfect opportunity had presented itself last night, and for once Jaejoong was grateful for his lack of grace.

“JJ!” Jaejoong stirred from his thoughts to find a happy toddler reaching out his arms for him.

Jaejoong smiled at Junsu and took the baby from his amused mother who told Jaejoong, “I should be jealous. All my kids like you better than me.”

Jaejoong laughed as he stood Junsu up in his lap, and the laughing baby boy patted his face. “That’s not true.”

“I don’t know about that; you are pretty popular,” Mrs. Jung teased.

Jaejoong looked at the giggling boy and felt a pang in his heart as he told Mrs. Jung, “They only…they know you will be there for them. So they know they can…stray…” Jaejoong paused. “If they didn’t know they could always rely on you, they wouldn’t be brave enough to leave your arms. You are the best mom in the world.”

“That’s right, Momma,” Hana agreed from Jaejoong’s other side as she got up and scooted past him to hug her mom tightly.

“What about me? Am I chopped liver?” Mr. Jung demanded from beside his wife, pretending to be upset.

Hana let go of her mother and placed both of her hands on her hips and told her father, “You are bad, Daddy.’

“I am not bad! I am good,” Mr. Jung told his daughter. “I am going to cry. You are going to make your daddy cry.”

Hana pretended to growl but she couldn’t keep from laughing and hugged her father too, while telling him, “Don’t cry, Daddy.”

Jaejoong watched them, loving them more than they could ever imagine. He was so grateful that his grandmother had sent him to live with his Aunt Bessie. Even if he was angry with Aunt Bessie right now and she had refused to talk to him this morning, he still loved her and he loved the Jungs.

When he was young Jaejoong did not know what happiness was, he had only known not to make others angry. He had always feared the anger of others, but here in Red Fern he had learned what happiness was. Happiness was watching Mr. Jung tease his children, happiness was cooking with Mrs. Jung, happiness was in knowing that Aunt Bessie both needed him and loved him, happiness was the way Hana thought he could do no wrong, happiness was a giggling Junsu reaching for him, happiness was having real friends in Laura, Jennifer and Jim, and mostly happiness was Yunho.

Jaejoong looked to the field as Yunho made a long throw to the receiver and he caught it for a touchdown. Everybody in the stands erupted with applause for the town’s golden son, and Jaejoong never wanted it to change. He never wanted Yunho to have any doubts or insecurities.

A tap on his shoulder had Jaejoong turning around to find an inquisitive Laura standing behind him. “Come with me to get some nachos.”

“Okay,” Jaejoong told her as he handed Junsu back to Mrs. Jung.

“I want to go!” Hana pleaded.

The look in Laura’s eyes had Jaejoong telling Hana, “Hana, please stay and save my seat. I would be sad if somebody took my seat.”

“I’ll protect it!” Hana declared, sitting down; just daring somebody to try and take her JJ’s seat.

Jaejoong followed Laura down the stands and to the concession stand. As they waited in line, Jaejoong asked, “Is this really about nachos?”

“I love nachos.”

“Really?”

Laura nodded her head. “Processed cheese in a can is my favorite kind of cheese.”

Jaejoong scrunched up his face in dislike. “It’s nasty.”

“It’s yummy,” Laura said as she stepped up in line and ordered her nachos. Jaejoong didn’t order anything. Laura got her order and walked away from the concession stand telling Jaejoong, “You don’t know what you are missing.”

“I prefer my own nachos.”

“Such a snooty chef.”

“I am anything but snooty,” Jaejoong denied as he made his way toward the stands, but Laura grabbed his arm.

“We have something we need to talk about in private,” Laura told him as she led him away from the crowded stands.

“I knew it wasn’t just about nachos,” Jaejoong grumbled, trying to sound annoyed.

“It’s about that glow.”

“What glow?”

“Your glow, you’ve been glowing all day”.

“I am…I am not glowing…I am not,” Jaejoong insisted in a high pitched tone that always gave him away.

Laura stopped by a tree in a secluded spot, popped a chip into her mouth and didn’t say a word.

“I am not glowing!” Jaejoong continued, trying to sound offended. “I am happy…happy doesn’t mean I am glowing. There is no reason for me to be glowing…maybe it’s my skin? It is shiny sometimes.”

Laura ate another chip.

“Nothing…happened…I am not glowing. I…I…went for a run last night…I didn’t get much sleep…maybe that is why I look like I am glowing? Maybe it was the run? Maybe I have sweat on me that I didn’t wash off.”

“You went running?” Laura asked in that tone of voice that hinted that she knew way more than she should.

“Umm…yeah, Aunt Bessie and I kinda got into an argument…I’m not glowing,” Jaejoong persisted.

Laura grinned knowingly back at him. “Did Yunho go running with you?”

“Urgh,” Jaejoong groaned and sat down on the grass. “I hate you so much.”

Laura sat down beside him. “You don’t hate me…you love me.”

Jaejoong bowed his head and told her, “I can’t talk about this! It is dangerous.”

“Oh, you have to tell me everything! Everything!”

“Nothing happened,” Jaejoong cried, knowing he couldn’t tell her anything.

“Then why is it dangerous?”

“Because I am delusional and crazy sometimes, and I make something out of nothing! You know I do this! You shouldn’t be encouraging me.”

“Did he kiss you?”

“NO!”

Laura let out a breath and said in relief, “Good, because I am also Jennifer’s best friend and I would have to be offended on her behalf if he did.”

“He didn’t, I swear,” Jaejoong promised.

“Did you kiss him?”

“No…I wouldn’t even think about doing that,” Jaejoong answered honestly. He could have though…he could have just lifted his head and kissed Yunho. Then he would have known for sure.

“Well, of course you wouldn’t consider it; your only kissing experience was with that old, nasty perve. I can see why you wouldn’t think much about kissing.”

“David Waltz wasn’t that old.”

“Whatever, you were barely legal,” Laura told Jaejoong. “Although Jennifer has never been impressed with Yunho’s kissing.”

“Really?” Jaejoong asked, his eyes doubling in size. How was this possible? Surely Yunho had to be the best kisser in the world.

“Yep, she says he’s a little…lackluster when it comes to kissing,” Laura told Jaejoong, while studying his expression.

“But…but that just seems…wrong,” A stunned Jaejoong told her. “But they have sex…”

“Not lately,” Laura said with a glint in her eyes. “He’s had very little interest in her for months. She is hoping she will get lucky tonight, but I doubt she does.”

“But didn’t they…or didn’t Yunho used to have sex all the time? I mean, remember Mandy…and I know there were other girls,” Jaejoong stammered out, shocked. He had imagined Yunho and Jennifer to be having sex all the time.

Laura nodded her head, and agreed, “There was. Yunho used to be a real male slut. It was almost like he was trying to prove something to himself.”

“Don’t go there,” Jaejoong warned, not liking her suggestive tone.

“I am just saying there is only one person in our class that Yunho is affectionate with and that is—”

Jaejoong cut her off fast. “That isn’t true. He is affectionate with everybody…well, except you, because you always piss him off.”

“Really? What about your birthday?”

“What about my birthday?”

“He took you to Winterfest for you birthday, and made it very clear nobody else was invited.”

“Because I told him I wanted to go only with him. He asked me if I wanted to invite anybody else and I told him no. He was making up for my birthday the year before…it wasn’t a romantic trip or anything,” Jaejoong quickly explained.

“JJ, I have watched you two since your great reconciliation. He cares just as much for you as you do for him and he’s way more possessive.”

Jaejoong glared at her and snapped, “I think you have been watching too much Yaoi!”

Laura just smiled back at him, impervious to his glare. “Then why are you glowing?”

Jaejoong held up his hands and declared, “He just touched my cheek and said it was smooth.”

Laura tilted her head, and looked disappointed. “It is smooth…that is all he did?”

“Yes! See, I am crazy. It was nothing, just me mooning over him again.”

“Was it like a touch or more like a caress?”

Jaejoong couldn’t help himself as he blurted out excitedly, “It was like a caress…no, I didn’t mean that! It was just a regular touch. A regular old touch”

“This is better than yaoi,” Laura proclaimed, unable to hide her excitement for her friend. “I bet he dumps Jennifer after Homecoming.”

“What? Are you crazy?” Jaejoong shrieked, scooting away from her.

“JJ, don’t be so loud…this is secret stuff.”

“Nothing happened,” Jaejoong whined, cursing himself for giving so much away. “Why would he dump her?”

“Because…it’s like now he knows, and maybe he always knew but he’s braver now. He won’t stay with her, he knows it’s wrong to lead her on, but he wouldn’t rob her of the chance of being Homecoming Queen.”

Jaejoong listened to her and admitted, “He told me he was afraid.”

“I bet he is, and let’s be honest, he has reason to be afraid. He has everything to lose…everything,” Laura said in a rare moment of empathy for the quarterback.

Jaejoong took in Laura’s words and knew they were true. Yunho did have everything to lose. Even by talking to Laura like this Jaejoong was putting Yunho at risk. Jaejoong shouldn’t have told Laura anything…even if she was suspicious already; he could risk himself, but he could never risk Yunho.

He took Laura’s hand and begged her, “Please forget this conversation ever happened. If you care anything for me, please forget it. It was nothing…nothing. It was just my wild imagination; please forget I said anything.”

Laura looked at Jaejoong, knowing his plea was for real. What they were talking about could destroy Yunho’s college career and his family. She hated it for Jaejoong, but it really was for the best. “What conversation are you talking about?”

Jaejoong pulled her into a tight hug. “Thank you.”

Laura pulled away from him. “Hey, be careful of the nachos.”

“You and your nachos…hey, give me one. I am feeling brave all of a sudden,” Jaejoong told her, grabbing one.

Laura laughed as Jaejoong squinted in dislike as he bit into the nacho. “You just don’t know good food.”

“That must be it,” Jaejoong told her and stuffed the rest of the chip in her mouth. “I will have you—” Jaejoong stopped as he heard sirens.

Jaejoong stood up quickly, scanning the field. His first thoughts automatically were of Yunho; he’d been talking to Laura and ignoring the game. He was relieved to find Yunho standing on the sidelines with his coach, looking perfectly healthy.

“It’s a fire truck,” Laura told him as she stood up and pointed to the road that ran alongside the field.

Jaejoong looked up to see the fire truck speed past the field. He watched it disappear and suddenly he was taken back in time to years ago in his grandmother’s sewing room. Those same feelings came rushing back; the feeling of being left behind again. He felt his heart skip a beat, his knees felt weak, and he grabbed a hold of Laura to prevent himself from collapsing to the ground.

Another fire truck sped down the road, and he let out a painful wail that had Laura reaching for him out of worry. He broke free of her grasp, finding his legs and he took off running faster than he had ever run before. He ran past everybody, focused only on the leaving. The feeling of the leaving—they always left him. He chased after the fire trucks, knowing their destination, never doubting it. He should have known, with happiness only came misery. He wasn’t ever allowed to be happy. Happiness was for other people, not for him.

He dashed down the roads that he and Yunho had walked as children on their way to school. His mind reminded him it was the very thought of walking to school together that had first made Yunho declare them friends. Mrs. Jung would sometimes greet them halfway, making Yunho squirm and making him smile. Aunt Bessie would be sitting on her porch swing on her good days, waiting for him to come home to her.

He took the corner to the block where his and the Jung’s houses were and that’s when he saw the flames. The flames were so high, he thought they must touch the heavens, and yet he still ran. He ran past the fire trucks and toward the flames.

Strong arms reached out, grabbing a hold of him, jerking him back before he could run into the burning house. “Kid, it’s too late,” he heard a fireman say.

He felt the heat of the flames against his face as he cried out, “Was she in there?”

“Kid, get back.”

He stared at the fire knowing that his Aunt Bessie, the only relative that had ever really cared about him, was dead, burned by the fire. He screamed, “Did she get out?”

The fireman said nothing, confirming for Jaejoong that she was gone, like his mother and his grandmother, except she had died…horribly. “No, no…no,” Jaejoong cried, watching the fire burn away his home. He felt drawn to the flames; wouldn’t it be easier for everybody if he just went with her? “She was the only one that ever needed me,” he whispered.

The fireman clasped his shoulder from behind, making sure Jaejoong didn’t run into the burning house. “Kid, I’m sorry.”

“I should have stayed with her…we were still fighting, we didn’t have time to make up. I should have made her a pineapple upside down cake and told her it was okay, that I loved her. We didn’t get to make up. We didn’t have time.”

The hand on his shoulder released him and a pair of other arms wrapped around him, pressing him against a familiar chest. Even in football padding, he knew the arms around him. “Jaejoong, God…”

Trembling legs gave out and he collapsed to the ground. Yunho fell with him, not releasing him. “She…I didn’t tell her I was sorry,” Jaejoong cried, wracked with grief, unable to look away from the flames. Yunho just held him tighter, unable to say anything. “She burned up…what if she is burning now…do you hear her screaming? Do you think she is burning alive?”

“Don’t say that, don’t say that,” Yunho cried, and he could feel Yunho’s tears on his neck. “She didn’t…she was asleep. She didn’t feel anything.”

“You don’t know that!” Jaejoong shrieked. “You don’t know! It’s still early! She would be watching her shows!”

“I do know…she was asleep,” Yunho insisted, clinging to him tighter than he had ever clung to him before. “I know. God wouldn’t be that cruel.”

“You don’t know,” Jaejoong repeated as he watched it all burn away. “What about Ringo? What if she couldn’t get out…she’d be trapped in the house, too. What if Aunt Bessie tried to get out and she fell? What if she couldn’t get out? I wasn’t there to help her up!”

Yunho used his superior strength to twist Jaejoong around in his arms till he was facing him, and not the flames. “Stop, don’t do that. This is terrible enough, don’t do that…don’t make it worse,” Yunho pleaded with tears running down his own face. “Don’t do that…I can’t bear it if you do,” Yunho begged, pulling him back into his arms to embrace him tightly.

Jaejoong buried his face in Yunho’s shoulder and bawled, “They always leave. One way or another, they always leave me.”
  • Current Mood: nervous nervous
  • Current Music: Set Fire to the Rain, by Adele
Mine :D

Woohoo first omg you updated :D
i become so excited whenever you post a new chapter
will be back after reading ❤

Edited at 2012-12-27 12:06 am (UTC)
D: omg nooo Jaejoong's aunt, poor boy can't get a brake after having such a heart racing moment with Yunho this tragedy occurs TT_TT
I say it every time you update but it's true I seriously love this fic I can't wait till the prologue stuff starts happening
thank you for the awesome update ♥♥♥♥♥
ROLLERCOASTER OF EMOTIONS.
My heart beat so fast from start to finish.
Aunt Bessie, although I think she's an ass to Jaejoong sometimes, I loved her character...oh but we saw this coming </3. I just hope Jaejoong can cope with this...well, i know he can. Yunho should be there for him! I'm loving this. Thank you for the update. PS: Adele's song will never be the same again.
JAEJOONG THAT POOR BABY D: D: D: D: D: D: D:

This chapter had me going from this:



To this:



spobe[rojn0pbekv[wlcsa. OMG. My feels are all over the place. T~T

I love how Yunho seems to be realizing his ~feelings~ for Jaejoong. Now all he has to do is admit it, yea? Poor boy must be struggling with all his fears, but ah, Jaejoong desrves genuine feelings. I will be forever cursing the cops too, but I guess it really wasn't the right time. </3 And once again, Laura is my favorite BFF. LOL. She's thinking the same things I am, and for that I love her. Although I would probably be a snarkier and less forgiving friend when it comes to Yunho. Lmao. AND SO NOW THE PLOT CHICKENS...THICKENS. I can't tell you how much I want to jump into your fic universe and just hug Jaejoong. He needs Yunho now more than ever. T^T Although it's quite, "painful", I'm excited with how this is developing. And once again, I am rattled by my need for the next update. I'll try to keep calm. /inhales and exhales
why do you do this to me OTL
the first half was all alskfjlskfj KISS KISS KISS (which I'm sure will happen soon) I'm glad yunnie is accepting his feelings though even if he is afraid...
but poor jae... his aunt... and he never got a chance to make up with her. wait but did they try finding her? or is she possibly trapped inside but still alive? is there any hope left or is she definitely dead?
thanks for the update ^^
The beginning was so cute and hilarious!! but the end ;________; oh no oh no oh no ;_______; ;;;;; poor Jaejoong ;~~~; my heart is breaking for him ;~;
Is it weird that one of things that came to my mind when JJ found out that his house caught fire is "oh no! what is going to happen to his gay porn collection"? haha

I guess I'm just trying to make light of the situation, but that didn't really work out because I cried like a baby. T_T
Oh Aunt Bessie....I really hope that Yunho is right about her not feeling anything. I just don't want to imagine it because for one thing, one of my worst fear is being burn alive.

I wonder if Jae's mom would come back to claim him, but I really doubt it.

I think one of things that frustrates Yunho is how sometimes Jaejoong can't see how much he is loved by many. It is just really sad to see how jae thinks he doesn't deserve to be happy and that all he thinks he has is aunt Bessie. :((

Anywho another awesome chapter! Can't wait for more :D


Edited at 2012-12-28 03:33 am (UTC)
Poor aunt and poor JJ ;_; life is so cruel to JJ
(and Yunho is the kind of mixed signals alright)
jae is sooo helplessly in love and laura is cool!
nooo aunt bessie!! ;~; poor jaejoong he must be so broken. he doesnt have anyone left.. I know Yunho and the jungs will take care of him but then the elder jungs will also die later... waaaa ;~;
Poor JJ! T_T
Everything was so fluffy but then it got so sad....

EDIT: Re-reading this chapter and this line "Happiness was for other people, not for him." was just so sad.

Edited at 2012-12-27 02:36 am (UTC)
Oh no! TT^TT Jae! Aunt Bessie!! What now?! Yunho left the game for Jae? what about his scholarship? everything is soo... aahhh! D'X
wow what a roller coaster-loved the scene in the park-so romantic-poor jae, more heartbreak for him but despite what it seems, i think Yunho will be the constant that he can always rely on-its beyond love-i love how Yunho even though is confused loves Jae wholeheartedly-its not attraction-its something beyond that!!
Thank You So Much!!
I am glad you thought the park scene was romantic.

I agree the love Yunjae share is beyond attraction it began at a young age when such things weren't even a consideration.

Thanks for commenting.
poor jaejoong;( i feel so sad for him. he needs yunho to comfort him. now I think Yunho is starting to have feelings for him, first he gets jealous in the last chapter and now he is about to kiss jaejoong. Oh my yunjae feels!!!! hopefully something happens between them.
The poor boy ... Poor aunt Bessie. So much tragedy and suffering for Jae.
oh GOD
Oh God... Jaejoong's life really is full of sad happenings. Yunho was starting to accept that his feeling for JJ were something beyond friendship, but I dunno how Aunt Bessies death will concern things now. Again, english is not my first language, so, sorry some mistakes. I just saw your reply for my preview comment and ... Antique Bakery? Oh gosh, I just love this story, although I have to say that your Fragile Essence stole Antique Bakery's place in my heart... Bakery's place and a bunch of others stories' place too.As I said, I'm just completely in love with it. I was really happy when I saw this amazing story updated, I have been checking your page every day for that. Once again, thank you for this fanfic, and please, bring next chapter soon. I need it so badly. Kisses
PS: I'm trying hard to write something as grammatically correct as possible, then, Thank you so much for your compliment.

Edited at 2012-12-27 01:36 am (UTC)
Re: oh GOD
Aunt Bessie's death will change things, and it might slow things down, or maybe speed things up...who knows. (Well, I know but let us pretend I don't)

I love that Antique Bakery kinda implied...but it didn't give us any good confirmation...but it was really nice. One of my favorite Korean movies ever.

Thank you for writing a comment even though it's tough for you. Thank you very much!